I saw the musical Wicked this week.
Loved the story. Loved the costumes. Loved the powerful voices that belted those amazing songs. And I loved how the writers weaved in how very good Elphaba really was.
But I sat there realizing this soon-to-be Wicked Witch of the West was actually very … tangled.
It makes sense though.
~ Her father resented her because she reminded him of a good marriage gone bad.
~ Her sister dismissed her, frustrated rather than grateful for Elphaba’s help.
~ Everyone at school judged her by her looks. (It isn’t easy being green.)
~ Oz only wanted her for the powers she possessed.
~ And Glinda saw Elphie as a make-over opportunity.
They didn’t see the misplaced guilt she wore like an over-sized cape.
They didn’t see how she fought for the freedom of others at her own expense.
They didn’t understand her compassion towards the oppressed.
They missed the gift of Elphie.
Do you ever feel like others are missing the gift of you. (Because sister, you are a gift. And you’re worth knowing.)
Instead of appreciating who you are, they see:
… your differences as defects.
… your emotions as an energy-drainer.
… your fears as failures.
… your needs as nonsense.
… your struggles as stupid.
… your insecurities as insignificant.
And your tangled little heart longs to been seen and delighted in.
As women, we have a deep need for others to truly know who we are — stumbles, fumbles, and all — and love us anyway.
That need is normal.
And you know what? God created you with it, and wants to be the One you’ll ask to fill it.
But that wasn’t my story. For so many years, I didn’t ask Him because I didn’t trust Him. So much evil had come my way, and I was resentful that He didn’t save me.
So instead, I bought into the world’s remedies. You too?
And I lost myself. I got tangled up in who I thought I should be, rather than believe that who I already was… was good enough. While my exterior revealed a strong and confident woman, inside I was so knotted up in insecurities.
I wanted someone to see the goodness in me. Just like Elphie.
But take heart, because God is in the business of untangling. And because I’ve seen Him restore so much of the brokenness inside me — and there was a lot — I can say with complete certainty that He will do the same for you.
If you ask Him to, God will loosen the knots inside so that who you are on the outside will be a true reflection of who you really are on the inside.
And it will be wicked cool.