I wanted to let her have it.
It’s been such a long time since I’ve wanted to lash out the way I did the other night. And to be honest, I had good reason to.
This person hit me where it hurts.
In my honest attempt to reach out in love and sympathy, she responded with anger and bitterness. So much so, that my initial response was to dish it right back at her… and then some.
I can be so nasty in my own flesh. You, too?
Out of surprise and hurt, I crafted an email even I’d hate to get from someone. It was a doozie. It would have stung. Oh, it felt good to say those things.
… But I deleted it.
And then I wrote another email which was a little less snarky… a little less biting… a little less judgmental, but had the same “sting” to it.
… I erased that one, too.
Finally, I took a deep breath… put on my big girl panties… and wrote words from my heart rather than words from my hurt.
… I hit the send button.
And then… Ka-pow! Her response to my grace-filled, laced-with-love, carefully hand-crafted letter slapped me upside the head.
Friends, have you ever tried to do the right thing and it backfired on you?
For the longest time I sat and stared at her response, and the anger crept back in… ten-fold.
Everything in me wanted to use my words to wound.
I could have, you know. I’ve done it before. Sometimes, I still do.
As much as my flesh wants to verbally lash out at times…
I know God wants me to use my words to encourage and teach.
He has called me to speak truth and challenge women to be real and authentic.
He’s given me the ability to speak words of life into women.
My words carry power… they carry an assignment… and the Enemy knows it.
His plan is quite simple. The Enemy wants my words to inflict damage. Since he cannot shut me up, he wants my mouth to get me into trouble.
I’m learning to be a responsible word user.
Have victory in my verbiage.
Mediate my mouth.
Tame my tongue.
And the best way to do that, is to respond in the opposite spirit whenever possible. It looks like this:
- When someone curses me… I bless them. (this takes some getting used to)
- When someone spreads rumors about me… I let God defend my name.
- When I’m provoked and taunted to lash out… I just don’t.
Easy to do? Um… Nope.
Fulfilling? LOL… Not at first.
But when we are hurt and choose to respond in the opposite spirit, it speaks volumes.
They heal or wound.
They offer life or death.
They show grace or inflict pain.
We get to choose.
Proverbs 12:18 tells us that. It reads… “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.”
Did you catch that? Our words can heal.
What about those times we intend our words to heal, but they aren’t received in that manner? Or when we craft our conversations to breathe life, but they don’t? Or when we have honest and caring intentions, but they fall short?
But remember that we’re not responsible for their response. Only ours.
God knows our pure hearts and clean motives… even if they don’t.
So, let’s purpose that we’ll use words that:
- Love not lame
- Build not bury
- Affirm not annihilate
- Care not cut
- Support not smash
- Free not fracture
What we say matters.
REALITY CHECK: In a world full of people who couldn’t care less… be someone who couldn’t care more.
© 2012 careyscotttalks.com
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