I love being married to Wayne. He’s a great husband and is intentional in showing how much he cares about me.
He tells me I’m beautiful everyday. (Who wouldn’t want that?)
He supports my ministry and happily takes on the kids when I travel to speak.
He listens (most of the time, anyway) when I’m a drama-mamma.
Wayne is a cup-half-full kind of guy who is rarely in a bad mood… and he adores his family more than any other man I know.
His walk with God continues to grow and I’m amazed at the person he is now,versus who he was when we got married.
But every once in a while, I start believing we aren’t as connected as we should be.
I begin to wonder why he’s not a better husband. I start listing off things he could do to make me feel more loved and valued. My mind thinks of a million different things I wished he was.
Maybe you can relate?
But you know what I’ve come to understand about those times?
Wayne isn’t the issue… I am.
When I find myself needing Wayne to be more, better or different… sometimes the problem lies with me.
And the question I ask myself is, “How is my relationship with God right now?”
Because if my relationship with God is distant, I begin to look to my husband to fill the needs only God can fill.
And when Wayne doesn’t meet them… because he can’t…
- I begin to nit-pick.
- I expose his shortcomings.
- I questions his motives.
He doesn’t have a chance, poor guy.
Sisters, our husbands will never be able to meet all our needs all the time. They aren’t designed to. It’s not their job.
And when we put unrealistic expectations on them to be the “it-man”… we’re setting them up for failure and us up for disappointment.
Maybe you need to give your husband a break and instead take a look at yourself.
Sister… how is your relationship with God?
Are you connecting at a heart level with Him daily?
Are you pressing in when you find yourself struggling?
Are you seeking God’s wisdom and direction in your life?
You’ve heard that song by Plumb called God Shaped Hole? It’s reminding us that we all have a need built into us that only God can fill.
And neither can our husbands.
The next time you begin to expect your husband to be everything you need (and then some)… check to see how your connection with God is.
It just might surprise you.
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