I used to think I had to be a “good” Christian girl to be loved by God and accepted by those around me, and it set me up for failure.
In my mind, good meant I had to be positive and flexible, seasoning my words with honey no matter what. It meant I had to always make good choices, lead with a servant’s heart, have a set quiet time every day, and follow the rules. It meant I had to achieve and perform for God’s approval.
No pressure, right?
And because I knew there was no chance on God’s green earth I could live this way for more than an hour… maybe less… I decided to rebel against the whole idea.
I decided, “Why even try?”
So instead, I made stupid choices and even stupider decisions. I put myself in compromising situations, and looked for worldly remedies to heal the disease of worthlessness that was eating up my insides.
And I ran in the other direction from God. Like I needed one more person to tell me I didn’t measure up.
I couldn’t be who I thought I was supposed to be… so I bailed. Buh-bye.
You know, I’m seeing this happen in our churches right now. Women are so beaten down and discouraged by the unrealistic expectations and standards of having to be good Christian girls, and they are giving up on community and their relationship with Jesus.
Too often as the church, we support the one-strike-and-you’re-out mantra rather than circling the wagons and helping someone work through an indiscretion.
Last time I checked, we’re all sinners.
And at some point, trying to make our self and our life look good just wears us out. We’re left feeling tangled up in deep insecurities like shame, guilt, fear and unforgiveness.
When did we decide that the goal of our faith is to be… good?
Good is why we aren’t honest about how we’re really doing.
Good is why we don’t ask for help when our marriage is falling apart.
Good is why we overextend ourselves in church activities.
Good is why we keep our sins hidden.
Good is why we try so hard to look holy on the outside.
Good is why we don’t set healthy boundaries in relationships.
Good is why people are walking away from the faith.
I’m sick of good.
I’m craving real.
My closest friends are women who don’t get tangled in trying to be on their best behavior. They don’t lie about their struggles. They know the power of testimony and aren’t afraid to be messy as they cry out to God for help.
They aren’t good Christian girls… They are real Christian girls.
And there is a difference.
Which one are you going to be?
Hey Denver girlfriends! We are having An Untangled Evening party on December 6th at 6:30 at Ascent Community Church in Louisville. If you’d like an invitation with the details, send your email address to Carey@CareyScottTalks.com and we’ll put you on the list!