Are you teaching them that mistakes are… unforgivable?
Are your kids scared to tell you when they… mess up?
When they miss the mark, does their offense carry a great… penalty?
Our job as parents isn’t to raise perfect people.
It’s to teach and train our kids to be respectful, compassionate, caring, mindful, engaging, healthy, Godly, and honest adults.
Raising a “perfectionist” is a dangerous game.
Because in their minds, they will never be good enough. And on top of that, nothing will ever be good enough for them.
That breeds discontentment.
Discontentment leads to a lifelong pursuit of a happiness they will never attain… or sustain.
I want my kids to know that everyone and everything in life is imperfect.
I want them to have realistic expectations of themselves and others. I want them to know that true happiness isn’t something the world can (or should) give them.
Do I expect honest effort?
Do I ask them to go the extra mile in certain areas?
Do I promote or allow the easy way out or laziness?
Do we set goals and push our kids from their comfort zones?
Do my kids receive rewards and consequences accordingly?
Without a doubt.
But… my husband and I are very intentional in making our family a place for grace, acceptance and forgiveness.
We are okay with messing up.
We want our kids to fail while under our roof so we can walk them through it, teaching them that failure is just a part of life and not the end of the world.
They need to know it doesn’t define them.
We want them to understand that true happiness … true identity… true acceptance can only be found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Not in the world.
They need to know that while the world will never be happy with…
- who they are,
- what they look like,
- the amount of money they make,
- the career they choose,
- the friends they keep…
And because God is happy with them, our kids can be happy with themselves… too.
They can adopt a healthy self-esteem that has nothing to do with the world’s standard of… perfection.
The goal being that our children will see themselves as God sees them.
“I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.” Psalms 139:14
Sisters, teaching our kids to be perfect sets them up to struggle in life.
As parents trying to raise Godly kids… be careful not to teach it, model it, or expect it.
Instead… let’s purpose to impart grace, acceptance, and love.
REALITY CHECK: When you expect your kids to be perfect, you’re setting them up to fail.