Happy Saturday! I don’t usually pop in on the weekend, but I wanted to finish up our blog series — The Tangle of Perfectionism — because on Tuesday we’re starting our Untangled Bible study with Julie Thomas from Women Who Believe.
My friend is the real-deal, loves Jesus, and her ability to encourage you through the Word will soothe your weary soul. You won’t want to miss it.
So through the month of July, we’ll be digging into the tangles of SHAME… UNFORGIVENESS… FEAR… and WORTHLESSNESS. Isn’t it time?
And if you want to be part of the discussion community, you’re invited to join the Untangled Women’s closed group in Facebook. Click here.
Alrighty then. In the last few weeks…
~ We’ve talked about those times we’re paralyzed by the fear we’re not perfect. Find it here.
~ We discussed the expectation from others to be “perfect” Christians. You can read it here.
~ We’ve also talked about how we try to be flawless in life, and how it’s exhausting. You can check it out here.
Today… let’s unpack the lie that says we have to be perfect to be loved.
Because in 5th grade they had this amazing teacher who loved to have “family” potlucks in her classroom several times a year.
And it was an awesome idea which yielded some beautiful results with her students, creating a unified group of kids to walk into middle school together.
I loved her heart and her plan… but… I didn’t like having to attend those lunches because they triggered every insecurity within me.
Well, most of them anyway.
You know, I can happily prepare meals for my family, but when the email arrived asking us to sign-up to bring food for 40, I freaked.
Lame, I know. But there were some amazing cooks among those moms.
I wasn’t one of them.
And then the thought of making small talk with other parents for an hour was overwhelming, because it gave them ample time to judge my imperfections — like how I dressed or what my hair looked like.
And since I wasn’t part of the volunteer mom’s group that regularly helped in the classroom, I was sure they all thought I was a total slacker mom.
Girls, sometimes my mind is a scary place.
You see, those lunches served up hot reminders that I wasn’t good enough.
… I wasn’t good enough in the kitchen.
… I wasn’t good enough in social settings.
… I wasn’t sacrificial enough to give my time and volunteer.
And as wounded as I was in that season – a time when God was revealing and untangling some very knotted up places in my self-esteem – I felt so insecure to be in that room and around all those women.
It felt too vulnerable. I didn’t want all my imperfections to be on display for human consumption. Amen?
So what about you?
… Where do you feel like your insecurities risk being exposed?
… Where do you struggle to feel like you’ve got what it takes?
… Where do you feel like a total failure?
… Where are you working overtime to prove your worth?
Friend, we all have tangled places deep in our heart that tell us we’re worthlessness — that remind us we’re flawed.
And for most of us, we’re walking around with black and blue hearts, afraid to share our tangles with anyone.
So instead, we’ve turned to sugar… shopping… sleeping pills… shameless novels… and an assortment of other remedies hoping to silence the Enemy’s messages of “you’re-not-good-enough.” But they’re not working.
So what if you gave God a try?
An honest try.
Maybe you’ve asked for His help in the past, but it didn’t come quick enough. Maybe you know Jesus is the answer, but you don’t feel worthy of His help. Maybe you’re running from Him right now.
Well listen up. There is nothing you can do to make God love you any more… or any less than He does right now.
You don’t have to prove yourself. You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to ask for Him to remind you of who you are — and who you are not.
Father God, I am so tangled up in knots of insecurity. I feel worthless, unlovable, insignificant, and I’ve tried with all my strength to fix it myself. But I can’t. Because You are the only One who can heal my heart, will You? Will You untangle me from all these life-draining insecurities? I need to know that I don’t have to be perfect to be loved. I am ready to believe I am who You say that I am. In the name of Jesus. Amen.