Want some sound advice to make your marriage flourish?
Here it is: “Shut your mouth and pray about it.“
A friend of mine shared that with me years ago and it’s advice I’ve held on to tightly, because it is wise! You see, sometimes the best thing we can do in certain situations is keep our mouths closed.
Easier said than done, eh?
She shared this advice in reference to some things my husband was doing that I wanted changed. Every chance I got to drive my point home, I did. I had become so vocal about wanting him to be different that it put a strain on our relationship.
But that wasn’t the kind of wife God wanted me to be.
He didn’t want me to be a nagging wife, He wanted me to be a praying wife.
Many times, the best thing we can do is… zip it up and lift it up.
So why don’t we?
I’d like to suggest that maybe it’s because we have a hard time trusting in the power of prayer. We think petty frustrations with our husbands are areas of our lives that we are capable of handling on our own. We consider that maybe God has bigger fish to fry and our frayed nerves are too far down on His to-do list.
Am I right?
And rather than ask God for perspective… rather than ask God to change hearts… we take matters into our own hands with time-tested tactics like:
- Guilt
- Manipulation
- Shame
- Nagging
- Anger
Sisters, these tactics didn’t work so well for me. They backfired. Caused arguments. Hurt feelings. Created tension. Divided camps.
Something needed to change.
Does it for you, too?
What if we decided to pray about it instead?
What if when your husband won’t step up and be the spiritual leader in your house… you pray for God to move his heart rather than remind him how he’s not measuring up?
What if when his work/life balance gets out of whack… you pray for better priorities rather than make him feel like a bad husband or father?
What if when he isn’t being helpful with chores… you pray for God to show him your need for help rather than constantly nagging him to pitch in?
Our words carry great power. But our prayers carry even more.
Proverbs 13:3 tells us “Whoever controls his mouth protects his own life. Whoever has a big mouth comes to ruin.”
So when we want to see some legitimate changes, this verse tells us to pray about it rather than risk hurtful, harmful, hateful words.
What do you need to be praying about more and nagging about less?
©2011 careyscotttalks.com
Let’s Connect! Subscribe to this blog, Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, or Like my Facebook Fan Page
Girl – wouldn’t my man love it if I did this? I am sure that zippin’ it up and liftin’ it up could apply to some of my kids’ issues as well – thank you for the timely reminder that prayer really IS the answer… and there really is power in prayer!
Amanda, mine, too! While I am so much better than I used to be, this is an easy habit to fall in to. Pray, pray, pray!!! 🙂
What a great reminder – and I know the Lord is speaking to me even about how I can “nag” my kids. Yes I know it is our job to teach them more than our husbands … but this is our time to train them to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and hearing God’s voice. Do I ever ask God to convict their hearts? Speak to them about helping around the house? Not as often as I should be that is for sure!! I’d rather just tell them! Thank you Carey – I love how God uses you to touch our hearts in areas that we can easily fall into routine. I want to be walking in the Spirit not in the flesh. Thank you!
Jeanelle, you’re right. This truth can be transferred to our kids or any relationship we’re in. Why not ask God rather than continue to nag those we love? Thanks for bringing that to light!
Carey, I need all of your posts, every day that I read them I feel a direct message from our maker. I REALLY needed today’s post. Hugs 🙂
Denise… so thankful God used my words to bless you! Go get ’em, sister!
Thanks Carey!!! Great post. Makes me want to go back and reread the power of a praying wife.
Oh, Julie… that is a good book! Thanks for stopping by this morning!
But OOOHH it’s hard to keep quiet sometimes 🙁 However, I have to agree – I have learned the hard way, after 22 years of marriage, that praying through my frustrations and worries regarding my husband IS the best AND most effective thing I can do.
Great post – thanks for sharing!
Debbie… true story! It can be VERY hard to keep our mouths shut. Thanks for stopping by!
My husband is SUPER helpful and actually does more around the house than I do! But on the rare occasion that he messes up, BOY do I hold a grudge! That’s what I need to work on. Thanks for the encouraging post!
Rachel, I have times I keep my husband on a very short rope too. Not. Good. Great to hear from you, sweet friend.
Carey, you’ve written a valuable post. I especially appreciate your statement, “Our words carry great power. But our prayers carry even more.” Nagging is a horrible use of our voice.
Thank you for your comment, Diane. Nagging IS a horrible use of our voice. And it causes lots of problems, too!
Great post! It’s amazing (should it be?)how much better God can deal with their hearts and motives than we can by nagging. I know if I feel nagged at, I dig my heals in. Why would our men feel any differently? It’s not always easy but boy the difference it makes is astounding. Like the others, I need to apply to my kids too.
Blessings,
Mel
Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God
Thanks, Mel. I don’t respond well to nagging, so why should my husband or kids? Thanks for your comments!
This was very encouraging to read, thank you. I hope I will always be the wife and mother God created me to be and always look to Him for answers. 🙂