SURRENDERED WIFE: The Power of Your Words

My husband keeps toying with the idea of moving across town.

It makes sense, really.

Our kid’s school and our family’s church are in the area he’s interested in moving to.  It’s closer to the highway, so his commute time to Denver will be drastically shaved.

But it scares me.

To be honest, I love our house.

• The pond behind is beautiful.
• Our neighbors are amazing.
• The floor plan is delightful.
• Our mortgage is affordable.
• The subdivision is desirable.

But even more than all that, it’s the only home we’ve lived in as a couple.  We’ve raised our kids here.  It’s familiar and comfortable.

The location, however, is becoming a challenge. And because of that, Wayne continues to consider a move.

So many thoughts begin swirling in my mind…

What if the timing between selling and buying don’t align?

What if we end up hating the new location?

Does he really know what he is doing?

Is he looking at all the financial angles?

But rather than share these fear-driven thoughts with my husband, I am being intentional to speak words of encouragement and support.  He needs to know that I trust him to protect his family.

You see, our words have the ability to make our husbands thrive… or dive.

When we tell them they are smart… make good choices… are conscientious with finances… great with looking at the big picture… they will rise to the occasion.

Speaking your confidence… breeds his.

So what if we really don’t have that kind of confidence in our husbands?

Good question.

I’ve decided to speak it anyway.  “I know you will make the best decision for our family, Wayne.  You always do.”

In reality… does he?  No.

But you know what?  Neither do I.

Even with the best intentions, we all mess up.

I am being purposeful in blessing him, regardless of my fears and doubts.

I am choosing to not to criticize… correct… or control.

I’m learning to trust the Holy Spirit’s voice in my husband.

And I know God will honor that.

Think about it. 

Where does your husband need your vote of confidence?

Where does he need your words of affirmation and encouragement?

Where does he need to know you respect his role as leader in your home?

Don’t tarry… and don’t withhold your encouragement.

As God-honoring wives, we have the unique ability to help develop that leadership muscle in our husbands through… our words.

Maybe you’re wondering, “What’s in it for me?”  Well, the benefits of speaking life into your husband are invaluable.

• It shifts your mindset, so you begin having authentic faith in his abilities.
• It cultivates in him a genuine care for the family and awakens his leadership role.

He won’t want to let you down.

I’ve seen this happen in our current situation.

At first, I questioned his thoughts on moving.  I nagged him to make a decision either way, and made comments that reflected my doubts in his ability to work this out.

The result?  His confidence level was shaken. 

But since I’ve been deliberate to instead affirm my faith in him and in his ability to make this huge decision, Wayne’s boldly embraced the weight of the situation.

I am not following up with his thought process.

I’m not asking about his timing.

I am not making suggestions based on how I would move forward.

Instead, I say things like:

“I am so thankful you’re a numbers guy who can figure out all the financial stuff!”

“I trust that you will make the best choice for our family.”

“I appreciate how you are checking out all our options.”

I’ve begun praying these beliefs out loud and in front of him and the kids during our bedtime prayers.

How affirming it is for Wayne to be complimented in front of his children.  How vital it is for them to see what a Godly man their father is.  And how important it is for them to see that he is respected and honored by his wife.

And you know what I am finding?

I actually believe these statements now.

• I really do trust that he is considering every option carefully.
• I have faith in his financial smarts and common sense.
• I know he will do the very best he can for our family.

Rather than give into fear that he won’t do it right, I am choosing to believe in him… and I’m making sure to send him that same message.

And to be honest, it’s incredibly freeing to step back and let Wayne and God work it out.

Who knew?

Sisters, what would happen if…

…we began to speak to our husband’s potential rather than their shortcomings?

…we began to believe that our husband’s ways just might be the best ones?

…we decided to find the goodness in our men instead of judging them?

Let’s find out.

♥

REALITY CHECK: “Gracious speech is like clover honey – good taste to the soul, quick energy for the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)

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©2013 Carey Scott

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Concept taken from The Surrendered Wife