I crave friendships with depth. Crave ’em.
So when I find women who are ready and willing to wade out of the shallows and into the deep end of the pool with me, I take full advantage of it.
I call these women my deep-water friends.
- They are the women who point me to God when I am struggling.
- They faithfully present me before the throne in prayer regularly.
- They want to do life with me. All of it. The good… the bad… the hot flashes.
- They are the ones who aren’t turned off by my messiness.
- They don’t sit in judgement of me because they’ve been there before.
- My drama doesn’t scare them away.
- They learn how to speak into my heart and into my life because they walk with me through hard times.
They are rare. They are priceless. They are few and far between.
But even knowing they are a gift, these deep-water friends can be hard to accept because they require something from us in return.
They need our 3 T’s: Truth. Trust. Time.
And when you’ve been dinged by life, these things are hard to offer up.
- It’s risky to share the truth of who we really are.
- It’s hard to trust others when our hearts have been wounded.
- It’s tricky to find the time to invest in new friendships.
But sisters, unless you allow your protective walls to come down, a deep-water friendship has no chance.
Do you remember the story of the man in Mark 2 who was paralyzed and lived on a mat? He had some amazing deep-water friends.
You see, these four men loved and cared for him so much that they went to extraordinary lengths to put their crippled friend in front of the one who they knew could heal him – Jesus.
When the room where Jesus was preaching became too crowded, rather than say, “better luck next time,” they…
- carried their paralyzed friend to the rooftop,
- dug a hole just his size in the roof, and
- lowered their buddy down with ropes.
His four friends loved him enough to place him before Jesus.
Please allow me to take some liberties here because the Bible doesn’t go into detail about this, but I would guess this paralyzed man had been pretty truthful with his friends about the pain he was in. He probably told them how hard it was to be unable to live a normal life. I bet he’d learned to trust these four men with his heart because they had invested time in each others lives.
And their sacrifice paid off, because what developed was a deep-water friendship. And that friendship led to his healing.
Sisters, what kind of friendships do you have?
Are they rich, deep and fulfilling because of intentional investments in truth, trust and time? Or are you stuck in the shallow waters where you’re safe, bored and unknown?
Take off your floaties and wade into the deep end.
There’s no place like it.
©2011 careyscotttalks.com
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Love.
Also wish that we could tesser between CO and MA so that we could have time.
Great post, C.
Oh sweet, deep water friend! How I love you! Thank you for showing me the fun is in the deep in. The enemy always is trying to pull me back to shore where it is very shallow and surface. Then I see you see you freind living in deep waters, sometimes floating sometimes flailing! But always encouraging me, in over my head trusting Jesus is the way. When I can touch and stand on my own I don’t need Him the way I do when I allow Him to hold me up in His living waters. Love you, K
Kimmy, while I may have pulled you out into the deep with me… you keep me there when I try to back into that shallow end from time to time. The deep waters are hard, but so worth it. So thankful to be treading water with YOU! Love you back!
Love the call to the deep. Love the reminder that it is risky but the reward is great!!!
Hey Jeanelle, it is worth it! I would have never found YOU if I hadn’t waded out of the shallows. Love you…
Preach it, girl! <3 "Take off your floaties and wade into the deep end!"
Can't wait to share this… gotta give to get!
Thanks, Melissa. Happy Friday, sister!
Oh the call to deep – such a good place to be… when treading seems to tire me out – He catches me – and never lets me drown! I have found the hardest part is leaving shore and surface knowing some people don’t come with you to the deep – and then out in the bottomless are friends like you. Thanks for this call and reminder of what is most important. I am remembering a near drowning I had as a small child – 5ish – fell off a raft in a pool – how scary! And yet – I don’t have to save myself in these waters anymore – deep is a good place to be! love you!
Amanda, great point. It is so hard when we know some will not follow to the deep. Painful loss, without a doubt. But in those deep waters are where we experience life and friendship like we never knew existed. Glad you are there with me!
Carey – you touch on a very important truth – it takes TIME to be a deep water friend. So often, I feel zapped from kids, hubby, work, that trying to find time to invest in my friends seems like something I can pass on. BUT, you can’t microwave a friendship and I, too, yearn for deep friendships. I’m leaving my floaties on the side of the pool and taking a swim in the deep-end!!
Janice, you are so right. You cannot microwave a friendship. True story! It’s easy to put any relationship on the back burner, but when you do you see the ramifications of it. Heart connections take time… period! Glad to know your heading my direction!
How rare and sweet these friendships are. They take a tremendous amount of emotional risk as we have all been wounded as little girls by those who did not caretake our hearts. I absolutely love the deep end and it is worth every single risk God requires of us. He so longs for each of us to have these kinds of women in our lives. You are one of those friends to me Carey. Love you.
Ginger, I’ve been looking for the deep end for so long and it made me come alive to find you there waiting for me. Thank you for helping me safely navigate it and for coaxing me back out when the current sends me towards the shallows. Love you.