Guest post by my husband, Wayne…
I know this little corner of the internet is usually reserved for words intended for women. However, this month I felt the need to speak to the hearts of men.
Ladies, if the man in your life isn’t in a small group, if he doesn’t have a group of Christian men that he can relate to, that he can share with and confide in, he needs to find one.
I implore you to share this him.
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Up I-70, in the foothills west of Denver, Colorado, lives a small herd of American bison owned by the city. They are the descendents of seven of the remaining wild animals found in Yellowstone National Park in 1914.
If you know much about the American Bison, then you know that they were once nearly hunted to extinction. Privately maintained herds like Denver’s were bred with domestic cattle in an effort to boost their numbers.
And while these efforts saved the bison from extinction, they fundamentally changed the animals… they stole the wild from them.
For years, Denver’s herd was celebrated for its tameness.
Police and firefighters often served cream soda to a bull named Nickel, who would come running when he heard the crack of a can being opened.
As Christian men, we’re supposed to be warriors for Christ.
But many of us have been… tamed.
Sure, we go to church on Sunday.
We have a Christian station preset on our car radio, but no song on our lips.
We keep a Bible on our nightstand, but not in our hearts.
We’re like those early captive herds; we look like Christians on the outside, but underneath… we’re just passive cattle.
Worse than that, we’re isolated.
God created us to be in community.
To encourage one another.
To grow in our faith together.
But that takes more than just sitting together in a building on Sundays. It takes courage to open up and pour out our hearts, and effort to pour into others.
Some of us try. We might join a small group with other men in our church. I was in a such a group for years. Good guys. Nice guys. We did some nice Bible studies together.
It was all very… nice.
But most of the men didn’t want to open up. The biggest struggle anyone would admit to was looking at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.
Seriously?
Unless we are willing to get messy… to open up and be vulnerable with others… to let them share their hearts with us… we will continue living in isolation, with the illusion of community.
And the Devil loves that.
Because… it makes us easier prey.
1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
Yes, God created us to live in community.
But when all we do is sit in the same building with a crowd of other nice people on Sundays, or in room with other guys not willing to be real, we’re no different from cattle in the yards… waiting passively to be slaughtered.
But take heart.
A change is taking place in that bison herd outside of Denver.
They’re reverting back to their wild past.
They’re no longer tame.
When one of their number bleeds from scraping against a fence or a tree, the rest of the herd rolls in its blood. In doing so, predators can’t identify the weak member of the herd.
If someone is foolish enough to jump the fence that surrounds their land, they lick their lips, curl their tails, and charge.
Don’t you long for that kind of fellowship?
To have men you can truly call your brothers?
Guys that will put themselves on the line when you’re in trouble?
Friends who hold you accountable when you fall short?
Whoa… wait a minute. Accountability?
That’s an uncomfortable word for many of us, I know. Especially if we’ve got habits we know are wrong. You’re afraid of being chastised… called on the carpet… shamed.
But that’s not what I’m talking about here.
I love what Graham Cooke has to say about accountability.
“When we speak the truth in love we are reminding, teaching, and exhorting people about who they are in Christ. We are reinforcing their true identity in the spirit. We are not calling them out because of inappropriate behavior, we are calling them up to the truth of who they really are in Jesus.”
Now that is what I’m talking about!
If you aren’t sure you’d like to be a part of a men’s group like that…
pray about it.
And if you’re positive you don’t have any desire to get real with others…
pray about that, too.
Come on guys… let’s get wild.
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REALITY CHECK: Our husbands need to encourage one another to be the men God created them to be.
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Powerful, honest post, Wayne. My husband struggles alone, earnestly longs for a group of “rugged” men to share life with, honestly. Last Sunday God spoke truth into his heart, called him Warrior. This word is timely and I’ll be sure to share it with my husband. Thank you.
Dawn… Oh how God loves us each so much that He calls us by name and show us who we really are. Excited for your husband!
Wayne – thank you for this post! Carey – I think it is amazing how you and Wayne share this space, and each have such distinct and yet harmonized voices for the Lord. Bless you both.
I’ll be sharing this with my husband and a few other friends as well. Bright blessings!
My husband is pretty amazing. Thanks, Shanyn. 🙂
Dawn, VERY cool that your husband heard God’s call. If he’s anything like me, hearing God is actually the easy part; the hard part is taking his words to heart and acting on them. I’ll pray that your husband and I work on our follow-through. 🙂
Shanyns, thanks. I’m proud of Carey for stepping out and following God’s call, and I’m honored that she asked me to offer up my thoughts here. I hope today’s post will be a blessing to your husband and friends.
As a single woman, I’m hoping single men read this too! I am most amazed and inspired by the picture of the bison rolling in each other’s blood to protect the one who has been injured. My house mate pointed out as I read this to her over breakfast, “that’s a picture of carrying each other’s burdens.” You’re making me want to paint this picture, gory as it may be! Not sure I could capture it in a visual like you have done so well with words. Thank you!
Sarah… WHEN you paint this… let me know. I just might buy it! Great to hear from you!
I like your post, and you’re right. Men are called to more than passive Christianity. Thanks for the encouragement.
Sarah, your housemate got what I was trying to convey – always good to know when I make sense. 🙂
Reid, thanks for reading. I’m glad the post was an encouragement to you – pass it on, brother!