I think I should be freaking out about now. Because I have before.
A few years ago, I remember sitting on a friend’s couch crying and screaming in frustration. And no one should have to witness a mid-40’s woman throwing a temper tantrum.
Lots of tears. Snot. Smeared mascara. Swollen eyes. Blotchy red face.
Super not cool. Or attractive. Or appropriate.
But today… when I find myself in a similar situation again… wondering why God is doing what He is doing again… I’m calm. Peaceful, even.
And it catches me off guard, because this is a new response.
It’s moments like these I realize God has healed some broken places inside. Old tapes didn’t play. Painful messages didn’t stick. Fear didn’t take root. My self-esteem didn’t take a hit.
And I realize some of the tangled mess of my life has been… untangled.
Sometimes God heals us and we know it. We feel it. It’s a painful journey because we have to face the crunchy places ourselves. God requires our presence on the battlefield so we can stare down our Goliaths.
But other times, we don’t know God has healed a wound until an event that should trigger us… doesn’t.
Yes. That’s where I am today.
And while it doesn’t feel comfortable yet, it will.
Girls, can you think of a time when your response to a circumstance was different than usual?
~ You didn’t respond in anger.
~ You didn’t play the victim.
~ You didn’t drown in drama.
~ You didn’t feel insignificant.
… and it caught you off guard?
Well, it was the work of the Divine Untangler. And, He is the only One who can.
“Lord, thank You for healing those very broken places in us. Thank You for not leaving us in our mess. Thank You for wanting more for Your girls, and being willing to pursue our healing. You are faithful to make us more like Jesus, and we see Your hand in our lives. We love You and thank You, and are so humbled by the way You love us back. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
©2014 Carey Scott
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Isn’t it great when that happens? Or rather when it doesn’t happen? Been happening to me lately, and girl I’m loving it! God just calms my heart and when I used to get so burning hot inside it is calm and grace filled. AMEN! A big hearty AMEN!
Oh glad to know YOU are experiencing the same thing, girl. Isn’t God so amazing?
Yep, mine comes when my husband, who is still healing from his painful past, begins to scream and yell and belittle and criticize… and the bitterness can’t take root anymore. In fact, it just rolls right off of me. Just the other day why he was yelling, I *felt* God’s mercy for him. He saw it and demanded I stop looking at him “that way.” I have peace and joy, even when I pray about this situation. God just gives me a bubbling up joy and wave after wave of peace. Me and my Abba, we have a great time when it comes to loving on my Superman. Praise God for that deep-rooted work of healing in me that allowed forgiveness, love, grace, and mercy to flow instead of the bitterness, the anger, the hatred, the murder in my heart that once existed towards my husband.
Rachael… I love how God is changing your perspective. Sometimes it’s just a divine tweak in how we see things that makes all the difference. Girl, I bless you as you bless your husband. Thanks for sharing your victory!