I’m a Goldfish!

Well….

That title caught your attention, eh?

They say a goldfish starts everyday new. They have no memory of the day before so each day they learn things all over again.  When they see their tank-mate swimming around with them, they have to “meet” each other all over again.  What a bummer. It must be an odd feeling to start afresh every day. Do they even realize that is what happens? Probably not.

I feel like a goldfish.

I wake up each day (or almost each day) with insecurities and question my value and worth… and even though God told me the day before how wonderful and valuable I am to Him… I forget.  Why do I continue to look to the “world” for approval and to define my worth?  When will I learn that it is ONLY Him that defines me?

I’ve seen God move in HUGE ways in my life. I’ve seen him heal a marriage. Heal an illness. Give us children which we were told we couldn’t have. Provide for us financially when Wayne lost his job. … and the list goes on.

So when I see all the miracles He’s performed. When I see His divine attention to detail. When I see how He is Jehovah-Jira and provides for us in every way… why do I still depend so much on the world and forget who He told me I was just yesterday?

I hate it.  I get so frustrated with myself. Why can’t I have stronger faith?  How do I get it?  How do I keep it so insecurities are not a struggle every stinkin’ day?

I’m a child of God and through His son my identity is solid in Him… and that is enough!  I don’t need the world to tell me who I am.  Lord… help me believe this down to the marrow of my bones.

Tell me… if anyone is out there reading this… where does your worth come from?