I adore Kathi Lipp. She has a way of boiling down the to-dos into bite-size chunks… and encourages by reminding us that we don’t have to do it all by ourselves.
Not only is that a shift in perspective, but also a huge relief.
You’re going to find freedom from her advice today.
It’s practical.
It’s purposeful.
And it will keep you from losing your mind and your joy over the holidays.
♥♥♥
It was the year that I decided that I was going to be absolutely intentional about keeping it a sacred Christmas. I had my Bible readings focused on the Christ story, I bought an Advent devotional, and I carefully selected a play list that was filled with songs that kept my heart focused on our Savior.
I was doing great.
Until I realized I was all out of Scotch tape.
The night before our Bible Study Christmas ornament exchange.
And that’s when I lost my Jesus.
You are going to get a lot of great advice about keeping your heart in the right place when it comes to preparing for Christmas. Which is great.
But I’ve come to find if I also keep my head in the right space, and make some smart decisions as early as possible, that goes a long way to giving my heart some protection. So here are a few practical things to think through now before Christmas hits you in the face.
1) Talk to friends and family early.
The earlier you make plans, the easier it is to see potential problems and family conflicts. (This is especially important with in-laws and step-families.)
Set up and send out the dates and times of when you will be celebrating early so everyone has the information. You may even consider sending a “Save the Date” if you have a larger family (or a forgetful family.)
2) Let other people help – no really – let them help.
There are no awards for people who pull off a holiday with no help (only sore feet and bitter attitudes.) If you are the one who is host the holiday, let others help (and if you are shy on offers, feel free to ask!) Here are a couple of ways to make it a family – and friends – affair.
- What Can I Bring?
Use www.signupgenius.com to create a list of all the dishes you need that others can bring. Be specific. (You don’t want to say “Salad” and have three people bring chicken salad.) Think of it this way – when people choose what they can bring, they will bring their “specialty”. Having a table of everyone’s best foods is a GREAT way have the best meal of the year.
- Create a Help List
For years, I would have people show up at my house for a holiday, and the first question they would ask is “How can I help?” The problem? All the things that could have been done with little prep were already done.
Now, I think backwards.
When I create the holiday to do list, I purposely think of tasks that guests who are just showing up can do. As I’m listing all the things that need to get accomplished, I put the word “Help” next to anything that is easy for someone else to do.
Here are some examples:
- Set up cheese and cracker plate (cheese is in the fridge and crackers are on the red hutch. Feel free to slice the cheese or leave it in blocks with a cheese knife.)
- Set the table (everything is on there!)
- Set up the kids table
- Walk the dog (yes – I put this on the list. We’ve had several more introverted guests volunteer. And Jake our puggle? Loves it!)
- Fill the cooler with drinks and ice (can you tell we’re pretty informal around here)
- Be in charge of the group photo
- Mash the potatoes
- Take the trash out
- Take the recycling out
- Find Christmas music on Pandora
- Cut up veggies for the veggie tray
3) Build Limits
Talk to your family early about limits. Do you want to put a limit on the number of gifts? The amount of the gifts? Do a gift exchange? Maybe not exchanging at all?
We have a lot of young adults in the family and they can’t all afford gifts for everyone, so we use www.elfster.com (a virtual way of choosing names from a hat), and keep it affordable for everyone.
4) Don’t go to the Store (unless you really love to!)
My anxiety level goes up several notches whenever I need to go to the mall between October 15th and December 31st. I know that I’ll probably have to make one trip there (holding my breath until I can get away from the crowds –I don’t like crowds..) but for everything else, I’ve found ways around it.
- Amazon – Nuff’ said. I have Amazon Prime (one of the best investments I’ve made) that I use to purchase many of our gifts, and use Prime Pantry to get non-perishables for cooking delivered right to my door.
- Google Express – This is how I order all my perishables for the big day. (Who are we kidding? We end up celebrating for three days…)
- Etsy – I have bought the best, thoughtful, gifts here. If you child (or parent) is into it, someone on Etsy is into it. A couple of years ago, I bought my mom a rock that was shaped and painted like a VW Bug. (OK – it sounds weird, but my mom had a Bug for thirty years, and the rock was super cute.) My mom loved it. Just loved it. That is not something that you could pick up on Amazon… Plus, supporting artists. Double win in my book.
Kathi Lipp is a national speaker and the author of fifteen books including Clutter Free, Hot Mama:12 Secrets to a Sizzling Hot Marriage, The Get Yourself Organized Project, The Husband Project and The Cure for the Perfect Life. She is a frequent guest or radio and TV and has been named Focus on the Family radio’s “Best of Broadcast”. She is the host of the popular podcast You’ve Got This with Kathi Lipp. She and her husband Roger are the parents of young adults in San Jose, CA. Kathi speaks at conference across the country.
Dawn says
Lord, please help me to be a gift to the world I’m in!
Sharon C. says
I’ve been taking these 5 days to plan my Thanksgiving and Christmas with my mom in sister in CA. I haven’t been there in quite a few years. We lost our dad and her husband in Jan. I was not medically sound to go out and see him or attend the funeral. I’m praying that God will give me good health to go for two months. You message has hit home today and I think it’s because I’m trying to make Thanksgiving and Christmas a joy to the Lord and not so much on myself. There was always comparison growing up. I could never measure up with my two sisters. It was like my mother took my older sister to be her child and my dad took my younger sister to be his daughter. They had the love of horses that bonded them. Then as I moved out in my world there was always comparison. I was overweight which was a judging tool. I finally realized I just have to give it to the Lord. I can’t please mom the way she wants me to. I can’t compete with my sisters so Lord I lay myself at your feet and ask you to show me how to stop judging me and just give everything to you. As I commit this time to you I pray that it can be a time where each one of us feel good in the person you made us. I thank you for these 5 days as each one is special and bringing me closer to you. God bless all of you. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Karen says
Love this. Starting to pray up now 🙂
Karen says
Great ideas!
Lisa says
Good morning Carey, thank you for the message you left this morning on proverbs 31 good to think of breathing in grace when you’re about to blow up taking a step outside going on a walk I like these ideas for removing yourself from a stressful family situation. Please enter me in the drawing or the hundred dollar Visa Card and I look forward to reading more of your comments have a great day thanks Lisa
megan s. says
Thank you for sharing just the perfect encouraging words I needed to hear today as I deal with difficult family already. Looking forward to reading your book.
Margie Norman says
I have a heart for women as well and I am currently working with my churches Ladies in Action group. The words, “authentic” on your introduction popped out at me. I desire to be authentic and not perfect. I find it difficult to be authentic. I don’t even know if I know what authentic really is. All I do know is that I love the Lord and I love women and I want to see them healed!!!
krhbilly says
I love this. I have a mother-in-law who does not care for me and the holidays always make the tension worse. The story of the ingredients in a recipe reminded me of my own mother. She gave a much beloved Christmas tradition recipe to me and my two sisters. We each got a little different version. We did not know this until years later. Thank you for sharing and for the tips. Peace to all of us during the Christmas season.
Annette Taylor says
“Take a God-sized dose of grace into your lungs so that you can exhale kindness and mercy.” I LOVE this!! I will print this on a note card and post it in places to remind me. Thank you for this post, I enjoyed it and needed to hear it!