This is week three of the Prison of Perfectionism series. Our goal is to unsubscribe from the world’s lies that we are not good enough and begin to believe the truth that we don’t have to strive to be perfect.
Because… it’s unattainable.
If you missed the introduction to the series, you can find it here.
The second week’s entry on “I’m Not Good Enough” is here.
Let’s jump into week three….
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Yesterday I lost it with my kids.
We’ve been in the process of remodeling our home and so I’ve been knee-deep in dust and chaos for several weeks. The truth is that this momma likes order.
And this process has been anything but… order.
While I can tolerate a certain level of dirt… and even though I can handle a few piles of clutter… I do have a limit.
And it’s been reached.
So when I discovered clothes stuffed in Sam’s closet and nail polish on Sara’s new white leggings, my anger made an unscheduled appearance.
Ugh.
I hate when that happens.
So do my kids.
I am so NOT a perfect mom. Ehem… um… Neither are you.
But it’s no surprise that…
With all the demands for our time and energy…
with all the organization it takes to run a home…
with all the pressure to have the answers…
we struggle to feel adequate as moms.
We begin to compare ourselves to our friends who make it look so easy.
We see those TV moms who are cool and fun and never seem to get their feathers ruffled.
We get frustrated that those parenting books and classes don’t stick.
And we forget to give ourselves grace to be… Imperfect. We think we are “less than” because we are… Flawed.
We struggle with the fact that we are so human in our parenting.
We want to be so much more…
more understanding…
more gracious…
more loving…
more compassionate…
And so much more appreciative of the gift God has given us in our children.
Psalm 127:3 in the Message tells us that our children are just that… they are gifts. It says this… “Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy?”
God’s best gift.
This tells us how very much He loves and cares for our kids. It shows us how much they mean to Him. We can trust that He wants the very best for them.
And since our children are priceless in His eyes, we can believe that He’s very intentional in whom He gives each of His “best gifts.”
So for me… that means that of every mom that was to live and breathe on planet Earth, God chose to give Sam and Sara to… ME.
And even knowing my flaws and struggles and challenges, He gave them to me… anyway. He chose me. He decided I was the right mom for the job.
I have God’s vote of confidence.
You know what? You have His vote, too.
It’s no accident that you are mom to your children… whether yours by birth or adoption. God knew you were the best mother for them.
Regardless of your blemished past or tarnished present, He picked… you.
Knowing this truth should set us free from the prison of perfectionism as moms.
Why?
Because we now realize that God isn’t expecting perfect parents.
He is expecting purposeful ones.
He’s wants prayerful ones.
He’s hoping for pliable ones.
I can be that kind of mom.
So can you.
No matter how hard you try, you will never be a perfect mom. You will never make textbook decisions in raising your kids. Your ability to teach your kids won’t be seamless.
And knowing all that… God chose you, anyway.
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REALITY CHECK: God chose YOU to be the mom to your kids… stumbles, fumbles and all.
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©2012 careyscotttalks.com
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Amen, Amen & Amen Sister! I think you wrote this after spending some time in my house :-). We are 3/4 of the way through a renovation in our home & I have been right where you are a number of times lately. But God… He gave us a surprise week away from the dust & clutter to remind us that our children are His gift to us and that we are a family who enjoys playing together and spending time with each other. Thanks Carey!
~Mary
Mary… you and I are tracking, girl! We know the struggle to remain mom-like when life gets chaotic. Thanks for sharing YOUR journey, too!
Great Post! Love the perspective of how God chose us for the job and how He loves our kids so much He gave them to us- wow! That feels like freedom!!! Thx for ur commitment abd sharing your journey- love u!
Amanda… that perspective hit me last night. It wasn’t where I was originally going with this, but God had something to share and I am glad He did! It’s blessed me, too! Love you!
Carey, I love this! Your writing is reaching a whole new level sister. This is real, raw and relatable! Love it!
Shannon… that meant a lot. Thank you for encouraging me, sweet friend.
God chose me!? WOW! That was powerful and definitively God sent. At the end, it is not about the opinions other have. It is about God choosing ME, a working mom, to be the mother of my child. HE knows… That is all the approval i need.
Eva… I love that ah-ha for YOU! You are the right mom for the job… Be blessed!
So refreshing to see that other moms go through this. Thanks for sharing Carey. Kinda wish it was just as easy to get rid of this as it is to receive this negative way of thinking :-)…Some days its easy to remind yourself of it others can feel so unreachable, but keeping on!!! Thanks again!
Amen, Sharon! Where is that “easy” button?
Lol ha Carey staples office supplies store carries it,hmmmm now if would only work!
Sharon… if you find one, please send it to me! My Staples store sold out! 🙂