I’ve been sidelined.
At least that’s what it feels like.
2014 has been quite different than I thought it would be… a huge shift from how the past several years have looked.
I’m used to lacing up my sneakers and walking into new territory. I like forward motion, and am a trailblazer at heart. Point to the dustiest path, and I’ll walk it—I may even break into a jog. Every new challenge is a foe I must hunt down and conquer. And without a doubt, I don’t do well being idle.
But it feels like I am.
For ten years, God has opened countless doors in ministry… and I’ve faithfully walked through them. I’ve been humbled by how He has used me, and grateful for every opportunity to share all He has done in my life.
And there has been a lot to share.
Trust me.
But this year has had a different landscape.
For one… I’ve written a book that will hit the bookshelves in February. It’s all about how our self-esteem gets knotted up by the “you’re not good enough” messages from the world. It’s my story… my struggles… my healing. And if you’ve battled any insecurity, you will deeply connect with it.
More details on that another time.
Secondly, we’re moving. Okay, so even though it’s just across town… it still involves a lot of packing, planning, purging, and patience. And because we’re building, my family of four (plus two cats and a gerbil named Bruno Mars) will live in a two-bedroom apartment for three months while our home is built.
It could either be a super sweet season together, or it could lead us straight into intensive family counseling. 😉
I’ll let you know.
But because my speaking calendar isn’t jam-packed and I haven’t had an insatiable desire to blog my little heart out like usual, it feels like God has sidelined me.
Cuz I’ve been doing those things for so many years now… and loving them.
It’s been my normal. Until now.
And this change in the game plan has been an interesting challenge.
It’s hard to not be doing… what I believe God has called me to do.
Do you know what I mean?
And goodhearted, well-intentioned friends have told me to TRUST God, but sometimes that 5-letter word feels more like a 4-letter word.
Amen?
Then God brings Isaiah 55:8 to mind, reminding me that my thoughts and ways are not the same as His. And I realize my understanding has limitations, is stained by my life experiences, is fueled by my pride, and has been influenced by the world.
No, His ways are most certainly not mine. For that, I am so grateful.
God is unchangeable.
Untainted.
And because I am humbled (again) at the realization that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-present, I surrender (again) my vision of how things should be…
… and trust Him. Again.
Where are you struggling to trust that God’s best is better than yours?
Truth is, our faith is fruitless if we don’t.
© Carey Scott
So timely— was reading Job this morning and pondering how Job felt he knew the truth about himself – his friends thought they knew God’s intentions— in the end God is the One who answered Job’s questions… I find myself realizing I need God’s perspective and not that of another person— and while I wait for it, I must trust… Surrendering, again, my version…
AB… I just love the story of Job. It speaks to me on so many different levels. And I, too, am learning to let God be the loudest voice in my life. Great to hear from you!
God may have decided you had enough on your plate for now and is giving you a much needed rest. In His own time you will know the next steps.
I stand in agreement with that, Caroline! Thanks for your encouragement!
Such a timely and wonderful word. Thank you for sharing as I am in a season of letting go and trusting God for the next step. It’s causing me to stand on my own – my trust in Gods voice and direction – and not the opinions, needs and ideas of others. But this valley of transition where I see nothing ahead and leaving everything behind is growing (stretching) my faith. Bill Johnson says faith is spelled risk. I want to risk it all. My comfort, others approval, my understanding just to grow closer to The Lord, to be transformed into His very image and to please Him (without faith it is impossible to please God !! ). Trusting Him in every season – risk. Lets grow our faith!
I love your statement, “Seeing nothing ahead and leaving everything behind.” Wow. Isn’t that just how God does it? I love your boldness and ever-increasing faith in God. You’re a gem to me!