At least that’s what it feels like.
2014 has been quite different than I thought it would be… a huge shift from how the past several years have looked.
I’m used to lacing up my sneakers and walking into new territory. I like forward motion, and am a trailblazer at heart. Point to the dustiest path, and I’ll walk it—I may even break into a jog. Every new challenge is a foe I must hunt down and conquer. And without a doubt, I don’t do well being idle.
But it feels like I am.
For ten years, God has opened countless doors in ministry… and I’ve faithfully walked through them. I’ve been humbled by how He has used me, and grateful for every opportunity to share all He has done in my life.
And there has been a lot to share.
But this year has had a different landscape.
For one… I’ve written a book that will hit the bookshelves in February. It’s all about how our self-esteem gets knotted up by the “you’re not good enough” messages from the world. It’s my story… my struggles… my healing. And if you’ve battled any insecurity, you will deeply connect with it.
More details on that another time.
Secondly, we’re moving. Okay, so even though it’s just across town… it still involves a lot of packing, planning, purging, and patience. And because we’re building, my family of four (plus two cats and a gerbil named Bruno Mars) will live in a two-bedroom apartment for three months while our home is built.
It could either be a super sweet season together, or it could lead us straight into intensive family counseling. 😉
I’ll let you know.
But because my speaking calendar isn’t jam-packed and I haven’t had an insatiable desire to blog my little heart out like usual, it feels like God has sidelined me.
Cuz I’ve been doing those things for so many years now… and loving them.
It’s been my normal. Until now.
And this change in the game plan has been an interesting challenge.
It’s hard to not be doing… what I believe God has called me to do.
Do you know what I mean?
And goodhearted, well-intentioned friends have told me to TRUST God, but sometimes that 5-letter word feels more like a 4-letter word.
Then God brings Isaiah 55:8 to mind, reminding me that my thoughts and ways are not the same as His. And I realize my understanding has limitations, is stained by my life experiences, is fueled by my pride, and has been influenced by the world.
No, His ways are most certainly not mine. For that, I am so grateful.
God is unchangeable.
And because I am humbled (again) at the realization that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-present, I surrender (again) my vision of how things should be…
… and trust Him. Again.
Where are you struggling to trust that God’s best is better than yours?
Truth is, our faith is fruitless if we don’t.