She left out one of the main ingredients.
On purpose.
As my mother-in-law was writing down the recipe for her crowd-pleasing breakfast casserole – the one my husband really wanted me to make for Christmas morning – no one realized she was angry.
Even though we had spent Thanksgiving with them and planned on Christmas Eve too, the fact that we’d wake up at my parent’s house on the 25th made her spittin’-mad.
Wait. What?
And as my husband stood over her shoulder, he noticed she not only skipped a flavor-delivering ingredient, but also tweaked the measurements of the others.
I was being set-up for failure – a label I already wore when it came to all-things hospitality.
A label she wanted me to continue wearing.
Truth is I’m not a confident cook or baker, so I’d have followed the recipe to a tee. The result would have been one nasty casserole. And ruining the Christmas morning meal would have heaped guilt and shame on me for not being better equipped in the kitchen — tightening the tangle that said “I’m a culinary catastrophe.”
There’s something about the holidays that brings out the nasty in family and the insecurity in us.
… Maybe we step back into dysfunctional family patterns, the ones we’ve paid big bucks in counseling to overcome.
… Maybe we feel like mom is judging the way we celebrate the holidays today because it’s different than how she did it when we were kids.
… Maybe old tapes replay in our minds, and we hear the tangling messages from childhood of “You’ll never be good enough” all over again.
… Or maybe growing up in our home was so painful that spending time there causes us to feel oppression all over again.
In a season where we’re supposed to step out of hectic schedules, set aside disagreements, and gather together to celebrate the important things in life… we find ourselves tangled in the messy-ness of family.
And instead of looking forward to the holidays, we dread them.
So what can you do to make family-time be tangle-free during the holidays?
1) Be prayed up
If you don’t ask God to prepare your heart in advance of these self-esteem-draining situations (and people), you’ll find your tinsel tangled. Start now praying for grace … for peace… for perspective… and for God to tender your heart while He strengthens your spirit. Ask Him to remind you of all the ways He delights in who you are. It will make a difference.
2) Plan to step out
Instead of maxing out your time with family that maxes out your confidence, be clever. Find opportunities to regroup. Make a run to the store. Take an extra long shower. Take the dog for a walk. Find ways to step out of the insanity so God can replace those age-old lies of worthlessness with His truth.
3) Breathe grace in
Experts agree a fail-safe way to keep from unleashing your anger on someone is to take a deep breath in. I don’t know the physiology of it, but I know how many times this simple idea has saved the life of the person standing in front of me (#justsayin). When your self-worth gets dinged and your hurt turns to anger, take a God-sized dose of grace into your lungs so you can exhale kindness and mercy. You don’t want to be a tangle-maker.
My mother-in-law and I never saw eye-to-eye. In all fairness, I wasn’t always easy to love. But neither was she.
And while we made peace before she passed a few years ago, she was a tangle-maker through and through. Each time we got together, I asked God for help, I found pockets of time to regroup, and I inhaled grace.
Lots of it.
The holidays can get us all wrapped up in the wrong things because we’re around the people who know what buttons to push, and have often been the ones to hurt us the most. But this year can be different.
Remember friend:
- Be prayed up.
- Plan to step out.
- Breathe grace in.
And never forget that the Creator of the world – the one whose virgin birth we’re about to celebrate – delights in YOU… stumbles, fumbles and all.
He created you to be a gift to the world… and you are.
Thanks Carey for your story! Amazing how that happens to so many of us – that unworthy feeling. Blessings to you today and always.
Barbara
I so needed this today. Thank you for the encouragement!
What a great reminder. I needed this today. The holidays always seem to include extra family drama. Thank you.
Thank you for talking about this subject. Christmas family gatherings always seems to stress me.
Thank you for this post. I need to use these strategies as I am facing a different and difficult holiday season this year. I struggle with low self esteem. This statement popped right out at me, “Ask Him to remind you of all the ways He delights in who you are.”
Praying for the holidays in advance is something I have never done, but I definitely will this year.
OH my goodness…I SO needed to read this this morning as I try to figure out what is best for MY family for Thanksgiving…and then deal with my EXTENDED family in telling them (cause really, I HAVE it figure out – we need to just stay home at our house and be alone for a few days, but then those extended family expectations rear up in my head……………)
Thanks for the practical advice about preparing for the holidays. Prayer does make a difference.
I have a mother in law who is not easy to love, and she drains the fun out of the holidays most years. I love these reminders of how to prepare and to receive God’s grace, not only during the holidays, but every day when encountering stressful and uncomfortable situations. I love this Wrapped in Grace series that several of you have collaborated on this week.
My mother was a tangle-maker, as is my mother-in-law, thank you for the words of encouragement and reminders how to ‘make’ it through the holidays.
Thank you for the tips in handling the holidays with grace, peace, and mercy
Breathe in grace, breathe out kindness and mercy. Good words not just for the holidays, but everyday.
At least it was your MIL. Try your own mom! ? No thwarting of a recipe, but constant criticism my entire life! #justsayin ? Don’t worry, i’m all healed up now. Old age has mellowed her, and the Lord has healed me. ??????
What an awesome read!
So happy that you ultimately made peace with your Mother in law.
Wow! How honest of you to tell the whole story about your mother-in-law and reveal that your relationship required patience and grace all the way through. This is a fact that I’m trying to understand. God doesn’t always make a smooth way for us but He does make a way, if we’re listening and learning. Bless you!
What a great reminder to breathe!
This really hit home. Thank you for the encouragement I will use during this holiday season
I so needed this today… My family is already making holiday tangles and it’s only oct. I certainly need help to get through.
I’m trying to give grace and block out the frustrations while dealing with guilty feelings on that maybe I’m not doing enough when it comes to our parents.
I don’t have the tangle-makers in my family that I used to have, but there are a few at my workplace which affect holiday preparation from time to time! Your encouragement and advice are welcome, helpful and timely!
Thank you for your honesty. Its not always easy being with family.
Carey, thank you so much for how you share about your M-I-L, especially that you saw how you were also part of the messiness and what you did within yourself to grow in Grace. Many of us relate to what you share. Bless you friend!
Im thankful my in law relationships have been pretty sweet. However the holidays really bring out the beast in me in my relationships with my adult children. They are half dependent and half independent. So I will be using your tips this year, thank you.
Thanks for the reminder this morning. This will be good to remember during the upcoming holiday season.
Sounds like the story of a *friend of mine* ahem! Thankfully God has healed that relationship and we, I mean they, get along wonderfully almost always! I am so thankful for GOD’s undeserved grace.
I love your term “Be prayed up”. Gave me a laugh for the day and a good dose of truth!!
Thanks for sharing – great suggestions that I will gladly put to use this upcoming season!
Such timely advice as I prepare to spend Christmas with a button-pusher! Thank you!
Thank you.
Oh my – Mother-in-laws! Now that I have a college age son, I want to make sure that someday I am a kind and loving Mother-in-law.
Thank you for a strategy for an untangled time with family. For me, prayer and extending grace is key to maintaining a godly attitude. This season will be a time to practice loving those who don’t love me. I’ll draw upon the power of the Holy Spirit to see me successfully through.
Love and Peace,
Nicole Craig
You said so many beautiful things in your blog that i want to remember. Took notes to post on my bathroom mirror during the holidays!
Thankful for your honesty that also keeps me laughing, your sharing wisdom (be prayed up), and God’s grace and mercy that she won’t have to eat her own casserole sans the right ingredients in Heaven. And that you’ve experienced healing in the meantime so that you can share your story. Thank you for your inspiring words of encouragement.
I really needed this, today.
Love these steps for ‘untangling’ our emotions during the holidays (and other times).
Perfect timing as I’m already stressing about the Holidays!
Fantastic suggestions! Make time for myself so that I don’t lose myself. I am going to try very hard to put some of this into play for my holidays!
Wowza! What a bummer that someone would do that :/ I need to get my hands on this book stat I think. I also need to come back and watch these videos tonight!
Great advice as I’m already stressing about all the family visiting this year, plus a move for our family at the same time. Eek!
I love your ideas. I don’t want to negate the counseling I’ve paid big bucks for!!
Thank you Carrie for giving me a fresh approach to handling the holiday tinsel tanglers. What a mean thing your MIL did with that recipe, but God foiled her plan by allowing her own son to see what she was doing – justice was applied. You are such a blessing and such a great inspiration to me! . Joyce – Heart”wings”
Carey not Carrie – pushed the button too fast that time and I truly know better! Is my face red? Joyce – Heart”wings”
Wow! Not just me then??!! I’m constantly taking deep breaths and trying to escape for a walk…the only problem is she wants to come, love her. Thanks for some excellent advice. I now need to print this and stick it on my kitchen wall…until the day of arrival! X
Great suggestions although I wish this post had gone up last week 😉 visiting family this week.
Challenging; the last few visits I have been gifted with worn-out, broken, or otherwise nasty things not to be refused. My emotions do get into quite a tangle. Today they are apartment shopping in our town.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Thank you for sharing your story and words of encouragement for the holidays and well everyday. My mom struggled with this very story ( with the mother in law) in her life and really learned a lesson on forgiveness and helped her to see her mother in law had her own baggage of issues. Once my mom knew this, she was able to love her and set a side the negative comments towards her, as my mother in laws issues, not hers. We, her children, watched a transformation take place when what our grandma did no longer affected our mom. It was so noticeable I asked her what changed (I think I was in 5th grade). She simply smiled and said I have forgiven her and have given the rest to God. What an example my mom was to me. We as family saw the transformation in her heart and towards our Grandma. Of course everything wasn’t perfect…my mom just dealt with it better. I believe even mean mother in laws have their purpose if we see them through God’s eyes. I know I know…harder said than done ; )
Love the tips, Be prayed up. Plan to step out. Breathe grace in. and with time enough to actually do them.
Thank you so much!!
Wow I watched both of the videos. Boy do I wish that you and I were close friends. I love your candid frankness and real ideas. If I’m not a woman who can cook, why pretend to. Bring something store bought instead and let the judgement from myself and others roll right off my back. Boy I would love to have your book on my shelf. And I am so thankful that you ladies are doing this five days of helping us figure out doing a healthy Christmas. So it can be full of Jesus in reality, not just in thought or word.
Good suggestions, esp. the grace & perspective part.
For the first time I am anxious about the holidays and long before the music is even playing in the stores I am not looking forward to family time this year – but your reminder to be prayed up really helps and although satan is having fun tormenting with me ‘no good’ right now, I am trying to hear His voice of love. Relying on Him to make all things new…
This is a great reminder for me to pray more, especially for the true meaning of Christmas. it is so easy to take on way too much with ours or others expectations and I am learning to cut down and pace. Good luck in this book release!!
Thank you for your honesty. It’s a tough thing to admit out loud that you had a hard time getting along with a relative or in-law…especially after they have passed on. I shall remember to breathe in Grace and breath out mercy with my MIL as well.
What a blessing that was to read! I also like the saying being “prayed up”!
These are some GREAT ideas. I am definitely trying to work these into my holiday plans.
I would get frustrated with myself for the very reason you mentioned. I needed acceptance. I was hurt to the bone if I didn’t get it. And those that knew me, would purposefully deny me that kindness. Or so I thought anyway. I’ve pretty much grown out of that now but sometime I still look for kindness but I’m a little more confident than I used to be. But still…I like what you say “breathe grace in”. It makes so much sense. Thank you for this wonderful post.
Thank you for the tips, these will help me. This series has been great this week.
Oh boy, can I relate to family that makes you crazy at Christmas. I am going to definitely use your tips this year. Particularly breathing in grace instead of speaking my mind. Thanks so much for your insight!
I feel like your post was truly directed toward me! I too have “that one person who gets under my skin”. You provided excellent suggestions and tips to let go of past hurts and “tangles” and to remember to celebrate the important things in life. Thank you, thank you for this. I will be working on Breathing Grace In and getting Prayed Up not just for the holiday, but always.
Great advice! I really liked the inhale grace!
I agree there is just something about family and pushing buttons. I’ve let go some over time but no doubt there will be some sort of blow up at a holiday event.
Definitely great words to help prepare us for the holidays. I also like to plan time such as playing bunch, doing a craft as a family. Less time for tangle makers to get everyone on edge if focusing on happy constructive activities
Very good information to apply to my family and me. Never too early, or to late, to pray. Thank you.
I plan to utilize all 3 of your suggestions now, through the holidays and beyond!!!!! These are great to use at work, with family, strangers everyone and everywhere:-)
Breath in …,.breath out!!! Happier Holidays!! ?
I just didn’t know it was going to be so hard to be a grown up–lol!! ?
Thank you for your inspiring devotion. I just need to breathe in God’s grace today especially as teen age hormones seem to be flying around. I just want to focus on Christ and allow him to give me the strength for today. Thank you for you message.
An inspirational story; thank you.
Oh to have peaceful Christmas gatherings! Sure helps to stop and take those deep breaths. Thank you for your post today.
Thank you for this post, Carey!
Thanks for your encouraging words!
Breathe in grace……perfect!
Thank you. Much needed before the holidays with family
Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder to start praying it up now. That only makes sense as I’m already fretting over the gatherings. I need to pray not fret, starting now. I hope your breakfast casserole turns out deliciously wonderful.
Carey,
Your words of encouragement, are always so refreshing to me. You are such a blessing, thank you for always being so transparent and real!
The holidays can sure bring out the nutty in all of us if we let it happen! Great post; thank you!
Oh the holidays! Just thinking about it gets my blood a boilin’! What great advice, I’ll have to remember these in the next couple months!
Carey, thank you for your words of wisdom. Praying that I can learn to breath in God’s gracy so that I can exhale kindness and grace.
Thank you for the practical and clear recommendations. I was blessed to have a mother-in-law who was so gracious and was a great example in all areas.
Thank you! This holiday season has the potential to be one emotional mess for my family…
Thanks for sharing, I needed this!!
Great post! Just had my 2nd epic fail holidays last year with the in laws, these tips will definitely make the 3rd time a charm, thanks!
Love the 3 steps – I’ll be using them through the holidays
Carey: I am already dreading the holidays for those very reasons. Thank you for giving me ways to cope and reminding me that I am loved.
Very good message!
I am very thankful for a nice mother in law. But holidays are always stressful trying to accommodate so many people. I will definitely put some of these suggestions to use ?. Thank you!
Thank you for the wonderful blog post. I feel like a yo-yo every year at Christmas time. We alternate the time with our families. Since they are in different states that makes it rough. One year we spend Christmas day with my family the next with his family. We leave after having Christmas supper with one family to travel to the others home. I will definitely be referring to your steps.
Gosh….I feel very fortunate to be able to enjoy the holidays and those around me and the “meaning of the season”. I will pray that more can experience this. Maybe since my family (on both sides) are all over the place, so we don’t get together much, so we just make it work for a couple of days. Prayers for everyone to just relax and enjoy and celebrate Jesus’s birth!
Thank you so much for the encouragement! Any holiday seems to bring out the “messy” with families. Love your wise and practical advice!
Love the suggestions!
Thank you for that reminder to breath, get some space and Pray! I love the holidays but not the family stress. I pray I remember your words this year!
Thank you for the post!! Hits close to home.
Great blog, Carey. You know my past and relationship with my mom and nothing has changed on her end. I recently took a class on boundaries and realized I didn’t have any. I set boundaries with my parent to protect myself, husband and children. They didn’t like my boundaries and that’s ok, I am no longer feeling guilty about protecting my hubby, myself and kids. We were just talking about the holidays tonight and the drama we face, it makes staying in Colorado for the holidays a no brainer. Thanks for the tips.
Good advice for anytime of the year!
Thanks for sharing these tips! I come from a large family and these helpful ideas will be appreciated.
I’ve been enjoying this 5 day series so far.
I don’t get along with my in laws at all. My mother-in-law sees me as someone who took her first born child away, and for the past 8 years has made the holiday’s a tough time. I find myself playing with my nieces and ignoring the sly remarks from her and the drama she tries to create. Thank you so much for reminding me that I need to breathe grace in. I will be taking lots of deep breaths this holiday season…and praying like I’ve never prayed before before the holiday’s get into full swing!
Awesome 3 steps plan! Bring on the holidays! I so appreciate how real and relatable you are Carey. Thanking God for you and your message.
This was such a blessing to read before I went to be upset about something. I was able to understand how much the enemy is attempting to attack my family. But now as I breathe in grace and will pray, I can go to sleep more peacefully. Thank you!
Thank you so much what I much needed blessing today.
I appreciate the advice to plan to step out and get some alone time. I know that in past situations when I was going to be spending a significant amount of time with people that just rub me the wrong way, having this escape time already planned out really saved my sanity.
Thank you for sharing this encouragement!
I have been asking God to help me endure a bad family relationship. Instead, I need to ask Him to heal it. Thank you!
Suffering from severe anxiety the holidays are rough. Even time at home with my husband and grown son are sometimes to much for me. Your advise was very timely. Thank you so much.
Yes, step out I often try. Will add the other two and see how this year goes…
Aleays comforting to hear we are not alone. Thank you for the “tools” to prepare us for the holidays. Phenomenal resource & advice! 🙂
Wow, what a blessing this message is! Our family has members that haven’t spoken in years but live a few blocks from one another. Wish I found you sooner!
Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Great advice!! Praying everyone has a very blessed Holiday season!!
It would be so liberating to live untangled! I have similar experiences but not with my mother-in-law, but my own mother! Always making me feel insecure and hopeless. And I do try to breathe I don’t and zip it! And it keeps me in prayer mode since I now am responsible for her care.
Thank you. Families of origin can be difficult. Great reminder that we are not who THEY say we are but who God created us to be.
Thank you – making holidays less stressful is good for everyone involved.
These are some great ideas……any time of year.
Carey, God is so gracious as He gave me the website to have these Grace messages this week and oh so many days it’s been exactly what I needed for that day! Unfortunately, I never knew my mother-in-law but oh , those adult children on holidays! Long ago I learned to forgive, trust God and leave the consequences to Him. My precious husband died unexpectedly June,2014 so holidays aren’t tangled as my wonderful children give me support as I miss him and all the help he was to us at each holiday. The tangled part comes from adult daughter who is so insecure inside, unhappy, envious and just a miserable person. She was a recovering alcoholic when she married the 2nd time and he was no help so now she is a full blown alcoholic again who “says'” they’ve stopped drinking but oh what a horrible person to be around now! She’s on defensive constantly, bad attitude and just unpleasant to have around. Perhaps it’s the withdrawal and she always has an excuse for her behavior. I ask your prayers for my family as we try to deal with her and especially for me as I’m still grieving and trying to be helpful and understanding with her, but not looking forward to holidays! Thank each of you for your daily blogs and Patricia Holbrook’s book “Twelve Inches” has been a blessing to me as I’m
certain each of you wonderful Christians books will bless me and give me a closer walk with our Lord,encouragement and peace. I’m 79 years old and have been a Christian since 12 years old
God bless each of you!
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss! Saying a prayer right now for God to bring peace into your heart and your family.
Love these 3 steps. So simple but such an awesome impact!
Thanks so much for the words of encouragement for the holidays
Small annoyances often seem magnified at times like Christmas when we want everything to go perfectly. Thanks for the suggestions to help keep things moving along using the grace of God.
Carey, thank you for this. It was so timely and helpful! Only this morning I woke up, starting to stress and get anxious about my own holiday “tangles.” The mess is different–but the need for grace is the same. Thank you for this reminder to take a deep breath and inhale more of God.
Thank you Carey for your tips!
Thanks for this wonderful plan. Just what I need as we head into the holidays.
Brings back many memories of dysfunctional family “tangles”. Usually there are deep insecurities in those people who want to make others look bad!
Thank you for such an honest post about a difficult family topic. We’ve found that the hardest part of any holiday is the extended family tangles.
Sounds like a blast from the past for me. My first mother-in-law and I definitely did not see eye-to-eye on anything. We loved each other from a distance. 🙂
I dread the holidays for reasons exactly like this. Thank you for reminding me to take a moment and focus on what’s really important.
Thank you! I have been blessed with mil but my daughter not so much. I loved reading the daughters post of the example of her mom she noticed as a 5th grader
Very insightful… and also very relevant. Holidays are a tough time for most. Thank you for these tips.
I will keep these close to me. Thank you!
Thank you for your words today. The holiday’s have always been hard for me with family but I want to make it better.
Thank you for this. I pray for everyone writing this series and reading these messages. May God bless you all richly with HIS mercy and grace.
I would love to have a copy of your book for my daughter who struggles with insecurity – thank you!
How awesome that you figured it out so young. I am 73 and just figured out what made my Christmases when I was a child and why I feel so lost as an adult. Depression for the last two to three months of the year have been the norm all my adulthood. I have tried not celebrating and doing it whole hog and neither seemed OK. Now I can at least know that I am OK and maybe I can fully appreciate the gift that God has given me – both the birth of my Savior and the understanding of myself. Still would love to have your book to read and pass on. Thanks for being so transparent!
Great post!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing! I need to “breathe in grace” a LOT more on a daily basis- not just around the holidays!! I will certainly be focusing on this!!
Thank you for the reminders! I love the holidays, as most people do, but we have 365 days a year to be with family. When the most special days come around, I want to enjoy it with the most special people to me, and not feel obligated to see other people. I’ve started to see that holiday celebrations shouldn’t have to be on specific days. I love the idea that I could spend so much time throughout the year with my family, that there’s really not pressure on the holidays because we celebrate life together so often. The last thing I want to do on Christmas is make awkward small talk with my “family” out of an obligation. I want to be free and comfortable to celebrate the birth of my savior!
Thank you. I needed to be reminded of this. As a child growing up, Christmas was a great time of gathering with each of my parents family and we continued that even as i became an adult and had my own children, until my grandparents couldn’t manage a big family gathering anymore. I always loved this time spent with family, but a few years ago, my mother’s attitude towards the holidays changed and we don’t gather as a family with my parents like we used to. I pray that i can use some of your strategy to help untangle my Christmas with her this year. By the way, my mother-in-law, who passed away 18 years ago, loved Christmas and despite the fact that she struggled with alcohol addiction most of her adult life, she loved her family very much and was a pleasure to be with especially during the holidays. She was a believer whose earthly body struggled with a human condition and i know that i will see her again someday.
Thank you! I’ve already started stressing and worrying about this coming holiday season. It’s the first year my soon-to-be-ex husband and I have got to figure out custody of the kids during the holidays. I hate it all and have already worried myself into an ulcer. Thank you for the guidance and reminders. 🙂
Praying God’s peace over you right now!
I practice stepping out when I am spending a lot of time with my in-laws. It really does help!
This came at just the right time! Thank you for the gudiance!! I will begin praying now for the holidays, and we can all be better if we just breathe in during the not so easy moments!!
Thank you for your tips to avoid the pitfalls of the holidays. I love the prayer advice and the idea of breathing in grace so we can exhale kindness and mercy!
I like the idea of breathing in God’s grace. Thank you.
So true!! In the early years of my marriage, I didn’t click with his family and he didn’t click with mine. One thing we learned was that their family tradition wasn’t ours. It was time to step out in faith and say that we were in charge of choosing our holiday tradition. We didn’t completely shut ourselves off from our family during the holidays, and in doing so, our families get along so much better now.
Thank you for your story, I can so relate, mostly to the disfunctional habits kicking in at the holiday gatherings. As a teenager with a step-father who drank, holidays were dreaded. Once I was out on my own and started a family, those first few years were a strugle. As time went on, they began to shape up into more memorable moments. Now, the holidays are small, so we can concentrate on what is important.-
Wonderful, practical tips! Thank you for sharing them.
My MIL gave me her buttermilk pancake recipe, but left out the fact that she adds more buttermilk until the batter is a certain consistency. A fact I just realized, when watching her make them, when she poured in more after she measured out what it calls for. Hope she wasn’t being truly malicious, but I’ll let God decide.
My sister leaves me feeling tangly at family gatherings, so I will use your tips to do a better job of NOT letting that happen, with God’s help.
I love all the ideas this week for having peace and organization for the holidays. Thank you for doing this in October while we can actually put it into practice! I love your ideas (which are good for any time of year) — Pray Up, Step Out, Breathe In. I can remember! Thank you!
Great post with practical tips to help navigate family during the holidays!
Thank you for sharing. I come to dislike holidays. Hopefully your advice will help.
“Be Prayed Up!” I love this!!! It’s so easy to get lost in the pageantry of Christmas, and lose sight of the real reason for the season. This is an awesome reminder to be preparing our hearts long before the carols, Christmas lists, and decorating begins!
Wow, this brought back memories. I was never the wife, my mother in law wanted for her son. She flinched every time I called her Mom. My Christmas gifts from her were those after thought gifts you find at the end caps. Polite manners, but not showing friendship. My in laws have passed, but I still feel sad that we weren’t in-loves instead of in-laws.
Thank you! I will definitely try to practice these strategies this season.
I am loving these articles from all of you ladies! So greatful that they are coming now and not a month or so down the road. It’s helping me to pray and think ahead of time so that the upcoming holidays can be blessed and beautiful.
Another great post in this wrapped in grace series. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for these wise tips! I do have a tangle-maker in my family and I definitely need to ask for more grace so that I remain calm and at peace. Praying in advance and breathing in grace in the moment are great strategies!
This book sounds like something I need to read. I struggle with low self esteem and definitely don’t want to pass my negative thoughts on to my daughter. Thank you for this post! I plan to use the three techniques this holiday season and share them with my husband.
Great Ideas. I am enjoying this series. Thank you
Two years ago I went to court with my grandson hoping that the judge would allow him to come to stay with me and my husband during an interim period where he was going to go to court for a final decision on a matter where he might have to spend some time in a facility for boys with behavior problems. My husband and I prayed many times for the judge to allow Bobby to stay with us. But before we went to court we knew that God’s will was what was best for Bobby, so we gave it to God and prayed for His will to be done that day in court. I went into court “prayed up” knowing that God’s will might not be what we had hoped for. I knew that being prayed up was the only way I would get through that day. In the end the judge did allow our grandson to stay with us temporarily, but only after she was pretty rough with me. Being prayed up kept me calm even when the judge was hard on me . I think she saw my resolve was not broken by her comments. I could not have handled things the way I did unless God had prepared me for that day, no matter what the outcome. Being prayed up is the only way to get through the tough times and the anticipation of what may come. We thanked God all the way home.
Love this, Pam. Thank you for sharing!
Love the suggestions, my family knows how to push my buttons. I definitely will be using them. Thanks!
Thank you! This is very helpful! I especially need the reminder to pray!
Thanks, Carey. The reminder to stop and pray to God to help my attitude before any and all encounters with “tangle makers” (love the term!) is so important and much needed. I’ll be using that suggestion for sure this holiday season!
Thanks for these words of wisdom! I’m going to be taking lots of deep breaths over the holidays. ?
That MIL story sounds familiar. Thanks for the reminders and encouragement for the upcoming holidays!
Tangle-makers….make the world an unhappy place. Well the holidays haven’t even started and 2 sister-in-laws are already not in agreement and not speaking, but we have a family birthday party for one of them, so pray that it goes well. Hopefully differences can be set aside. I pray that there will not be any drama at the party. Please God let there be peace on earth.
I’ll have to remember the 3 steps this holiday season. My husband and I jus want to keep Christmas simple this year. With my mom coming and maybe his dad and stop mom and step dad. They are usually good about all wanting to bring something to eat unlike my MIL who always wanted to cooked and it was already the same exact thing for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’d ask what can I do and she would say something like rolls and mashed potatoes. I’m a very laid back person and dislike drama and something and my husbands side of the family doesn’t like new things. I will definitely be praying a ahead of time a lot this year for grace and that everything goes smoothly.
Thank you for the words of wisdom!
Thank-you so much for this post! I have to admit it took two days before I could write a comment. I love parts of the holidays, but the getting together with families is not a part that I enjoy. I like the idea, but it is very stressful to me. There is a lot of “stuff” on both sides. We have changed some things and we can not find a good replacement for Christmas day, which is hard because well it is Christmas day and all that goes with what Christmas day SHOULD be.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I can relate to so much of what you are saying.
Oh Carly,
I hate it that your Mother In Law couldn’t /wouldn’t welcome you into the family with welcome arms. Thank you for sharing your story here.
I can relate to it because growing up, no matter what my parents did it was never enough for my dad’s mom when it came to family gatherings. She was jealous of my mom’s parents. It made certain things rough.
Thank you for sharing the tips here about the holidays. Saving for my personal use.
Have a wonderful weekend. May God Bless you and yours.
Sarah
Thank you. This year will be sooo different. Husband and I have lost 3 parents in the last 9 months, but I will still need to use these steps for slightly different reasons.
I love how real and honest you are, Carey. I’m determinded to be prayed up for the fast approaching holiday season. I have a feeling I’m going to need it!
May the Lord continue to bless you, as you bless us.
I love your honesty and humor and really connected with you. I will re-read your blog and watch your video again several times during the holidays. God bless!
Thank you for the encouragement. I will remember the 3 points when I am caught in stress situation.
Be prayed up.
Plan to step out.
Breathe grace in.
Blessings.
“Untangled” sounds like a very interesting book. I would love to win a copy.
Wow this is my mother in law. she has never liked me and has said nasty things about me. she only deals with me because i stand my ground and refuse to let he break up my marriage and i gave her 2 beautiful grand babies. her only grandkids. i do what you suggest i find reason to go to walmart ot target when visiting. i learned how to crochet so i could have quite time
Have you been looking in our windows at the Holidays. I had two my Mother-n-law and a brother-n-law. Sadly my brother-n-law passed this year. My Mother-n-law is still going strong at 95. This is such needed encouragement. I too have had unexpected trips to the store or elsewhere. Prayer is the only constant in my life that works. I still step in it up to my knees sometimes, but God is always faithful to forgive me and wipe my slate clean.