When it’s okay to live offended… and when it’s not

It’s so easy to live offended.

And it’s okay to live that way if you want to be tangled in deep unforgiveness… hold life-long grudges… and make sweeping judgements. If you want to be known for your anger and bitterness, this is way to do it.

If you’d like to be toxic to those around you, causing them emotional instability and stress as they struggle to navigate a relationship with you, you’re on the right track. If you want to be easily triggered, letting your insecurities rule instead of asking God to untangle the messy knots, here’s your chance.

And if you want to keep God in a box, ignore the call on your life, and reject the healing He promises to those who ask, the offended life will get you there. 

But. And it’s a big but.

If instead you want to thrive in community… deepen your relationships… live a life that points to Jesus… walk in freedom… and connect to God in fresh ways… then you must have the good sense to live differently.

Proverbs 19:11 says… “A person with good sense is patient, and it is to his credit that he overlooks an offense.”

See the connection?

Having good sense plays a key role in our ability to overlook an offense.

Listen friends… we’ve got to stop being so easily triggered. It’s out of control, and it’s wasting our time and crowding our head-space. What if instead we used common sense when our feelings are hurt rather than get all bent out of shape?

It’s time to put on our big-girl pants and choose to overlook the words and actions that threaten to tangle us. Why do we care so much what other people think?

Because here’s hard truth: Feelings aren’t facts.

And just because you may feel rejected, abandoned, insignificant or (fill in the blank)… it does not mean you are.

Those in-the-moment feelings are a breeding ground for offense. And we have to quiet them with truth and sanity.

So many of us are the walking wounded. We go from one offense to the next, limping through life feeling insulted, affronted, slighted and insulted. It makes you wonder where all the good sense has gone.

Well, there’s hope.

A friend gave me a simple yet very powerful phrase that has tamed the spirit of offense in me a ka-jillion times. And I want to share it with you.

Ready?

“I know (insert name)’s heart for me is good.”

So when your friend leaves you out… when it seems your husband doesn’t have time for you… when a parent says something that triggers a painful childhood memory… when your teenager rolls their eyes at your request… say this to yourself:

“I know (insert name)’s heart for me is good.”

Girls, it’s so easy to get offended by the words and actions of others. Haven’t we done it for years?

But I’m challenging you to live differently.

… Ask God to recalibrate your Good-Sense Super-Power.

… Remember imperfect people say and do imperfect things. Oh, and you’re one of ‘em!

… Choose to not get tangled up in their words and actions because feelings aren’t facts.

… And believe your family and friend’s heart for you really is good.

Because honestly, life is too short to live offended.

I talked about living the offended life on KCBI 90.9 in Dallas yesterday morning. Maybe you can relate to my story. Click HERE to listen in.