I knew something was wrong when she walked in the room.
A year ago today, four words came out of my doctor’s mouth with a great degree of difficulty. “You have ovarian cancer.” I’m not sure how much time passed before I was able to respond with something more than tears.
My two kids were sitting in the waiting room and were promised ice cream if they behaved like civilized little people. This was supposed to be a routine follow-up appointment to remove my stitches after a textbook hysterectomy. But instead it proved to be a tornado that sucked me up into utter chaos.
I was terrified and filled with emotion and fear. So many questions swirled in my mind…
- Was this going to kill me?
- What would happen to my kids without me?
- How would Wayne handle being a single parent?
It’s times like these where you find out what you’re really made of. It’s where “the rubber meets the road” if you will. I honestly wondered if I would trust Him enough to safely bring me through it.
What I wanted to do was hide… run away. I didn’t want to tell anyone other than my family and close friends. But at the urging of a friend, I decided to make it a very public struggle.
That was divine advice. Why? Because God used it as a testimony of trust.
People who said they never prayed, told me they would in this instance. Others who I hadn’t spoken with since high school (and some I didn’t even know) offered encouragement and support. My community rallied around me in a way I cannot fully explain.
Through the next few weeks after the diagnosis and before the second surgery to further define the cancer and the treatment, I clung to God. I was determined to trust His plan and His timing.
Instead of living in fear, I resolved to completely trust God. Really.
My prayer changed from “Heal me” to “If I must have this to further your Kingdom, count me in. I trust you.” I resolved to do this cancer-thing well. To allow God to use me and my diagnosis however He saw fit.
But guess what. No cancer was found in surgery. No cancer was found in post-op pathology either. No follow-up treatment was necessary. As fast as I was sucked up into this tornado, I was spit back out.
Do you know what I’ve come to understand?
That God intentionally uses times like these to teach us to trust Him in the storm. Let’s be honest… it’s easy to let God take the wheel when life’s roads are straight and narrow. However, it’s a whole different ball game when those roads begin to twist and turn.
What are you fighting against right now? What tornado have you been sucked into?
My advice? Know that God is “in” these trying times with you… and trust Him with all your fear, anger, and despair.
Friends… when it seems all hope is gone, cling to Him in your life storms.
©2011 careyscotttalks.com
CAN’T believe this was a year ago!! WOW! How things have changed!!! Thank you, God, for keeping Carey with us a little while longer!! She has sooo much to teach us!! Thank you for showing up when she so desperately needed you and for demonstrating your power and ability to orchestrate all things!! Keep speaking through Carey, so that she can continue to speak to us! Empower her, motivate her, give her the ability to trust you fully with the direction of your ministry through her. I know she looks at her speaking schedule and wonders what’s up, but you know, you know exactly what’s up! Give her the confidence to follow even when she doesn’t “see” or totally understand! Blind faith!!! May we ALL be blessed with that this year!!! I love you, Lord!!! Continue to be present and obvious in our lives!!! L
AMEN to Laura’s prayer!!!!
I realize now how I missed this news last year … we were in whirlwind that has now lasted 16 months where almost everyone around me was sick and/or dying.
So, was the diagnosis wrong? Or there was only a tiny bit of cancer, and they got it on the first round?
It’s been another long week here. Surely, I’m just being befuddled.
Rox… it was such a confusing time! 4 pathologists found cancer or something of interest. But when they went in… nothing. Seeing as half of the US was praying for me thanks to prayer chains and loving friends, I think it was God’s divine eraser at work. I’m left with surgical menopause, which is a pretty harsh and brutal reality. Regardless, I am just thankful to be here another day to preach it! Love to you!
Carey,
Yes God is with us and will carry us through the storms of our lives. I learned to cling to God through a 3 year storm in the life of my family. Though the pain was sometimes excruciating I learned to trust Him and praise him in the heartache. I know that if we had not gone through that storm I would not have been led into Women’s Ministry. I praise Him for the relationship I have with Him now because of the storm.
So glad to have met you at She Speaks this past July. You are a blessing to so many.
Mary
Praise the Lord – thank you God.
I think he has many more plans for you 🙂
crazy that it was such a fast storm that didn’t have a lot of definition or detail…almost like it was a “mistake”–though we know everything that happens to us happens for a reason.
love getting to know you, enjoyed our “coffee” this morn!
seriously I think we had better schedule three hours every time we get together!