Back in the earlier days of our marriage, my husband used to be a big score-keeper. How could he not? He grew up seeing it in action in his own home.
So because of that…
… Wayne was programmed to keep track of whose turn it was to change a diaper.
… He knew the last person to empty the dishwasher.
… He’d marked on the scoreboard in his mind who got to choose the last movie we watched or the last restaurant we visited.
And when the scales tipped in my favor and things weren’t fair and balanced, our home became a war-zone.
Not only did it make this trust-impared, control-enthusiast spittin’ mad, but it drove home the message I already believed that said, “I’m not good enough.”
It triggered deep insecurities and heaped a huge helping of guilt on me, too.
Why couldn’t I be the kind of wife he needed?
Are you in a relationship with a score-keeper?
Or are you the one keeping score?
Either way, it’s a joy-draining, confidence-killing, trust-removing, guilt-producing, and love-ending set-up.
Wanna know what we did to change things up so our marriage began to thrive?
Click here for Untangled Radio, and let’s continue the discussion.
©2015 Carey Scott
