Sometimes the hardest one to forgive is yourself {An Untangled Summer study}

Last Tuesday, I blogged about my red-hot anger over a bully situation that deeply affected my son. I shared how hard I fought the school district because they hadn’t handled the situation properly.

And when they made it clear they had no intention of making right what they had let go wrong, I held on to anger for a very long time. It was terribly unhealthy.

Slowly that anger turned into bitterness, and the bitterness gave way to unforgiveness. For years, it was consuming. But over that time, God softened my heart … and I’d found a way to release the guilty parties from my hands, into God’s.

But even then, something about it still stirred my heart.

As I was typing out the details of the bully situation in my book Untangled – because I share it in great detail there – God met me right in the middle of the story. In a way only He could, God revealed what had been stirring inside.

And as I sat there with my hands on the keyboard and tears running down my cheeks, I realized I hadn’t forgiven myself for not saving my son from harm.

… A good mom would have seen the situation for what it was and intervened sooner. What if my son is broken forever?

There it was – shame, fear and worthlessness all tangled together and mixed with the inability to forgive my own failures.

Then God whispered, “Even knowing all of your imperfections Carey, I still chose you to be Sam’s mom.”

And in that moment, He loosened the knots that tangled my worth as a mom and I exhaled the shame and fear and worthless feelings from my heart.

Listen sweet friend, “Untangling” isn’t a cute concept. It’s not something that only works for others. It’s not an idea or a hope.

It’s real.

And I am watching God loosen the knots in my life – all of them. There is still a lot of work left to do, and I know that staying untangled will be a choice I make every day.

But God is doing it. And if you ask Him, He will do it for you too.

We are finishing up the week on the Tangle of Worthlessness with Julie at Women Who Believe. She is bringing her A-game to this last post, tying it all together with fresh perspective and clarity. Don’t miss it. Click HERE.

We don’t have the luxury of sitting in our tangles any longer because it’s taking us out of the game. We are becoming ineffective in our families… with our friends… and for the Kingdom.

Ask God to untangle you.

“Father, please untangle unforgiveness from our hearts and restore joy and grace and confidence to our weary souls.”

It’s time.