I am a good mom. I am a good mom. I am a good mom.
I said those words so often during that time… during that situation. And I hoped with all I had in me they’d sink in and become my truth.
Because what I heard the Enemy whisper into my ear over and over and over again was, “A good mom would have never let that happen.”
That phrase shamed me. Broke me. And it tangled my heart.
A good parent is supposed to protect their child from harm — save them from evil. We’re supposed to be so intuitive that we’d know if something is wrong. A good mom can spot a hurtful situation before it wounds.
But I didn’t.
And because I felt such a sense of failure… I decided I wasn’t a good mom at all.
In 3rd grade, my son found himself the target of a bully at school. I knew this kid was being a nuisance to Sam because I’d heard his name more than once. So I’d give my oldest hugs when he shared frustrating moments from the day. I offered him godly counsel when he didn’t know how to respond. I prayed for this crooked path to straighten.
And honestly, I felt the situation was being handled.
But I didn’t read between the lines, like a good mom would have.
Even though I was involved, I didn’t see the big picture of what was happening. And I didn’t understand things were spiraling out of control.
So when my son came to me that day… and I realized I’d missed some critical signs of concern… I decided, “I’m most certainly not a good mom.”
You know, shame has a way of making you feel that if you’re anything less than perfect, you just don’t have what it takes. And in your mind, failure makes you worthless.
You made a bad decision, so you’re a bad person.
You chose the wrong path, so you aren’t trustworthy.
Your intuition didn’t kick in, so you’re clueless.
You didn’t see the situation correctly, so you’re unreliable.
You didn’t protect someone you loved, so you’re a let-down.
Shame makes you feel bad about who you are, and fuels the belief that you’re not important… or valuable… or significant… or good enough.
But God doesn’t speak shame. It’s the Enemy’s language.
Are you listening to it?
At Women Who Believe today, my beautiful friend Julie is diving deeper into the tangle of shame. Head on over by clicking HERE to read the rest of my story, and find the encouragement you need to let God untangle you.
Then join the discussion in the Untangled Women community on Facebook. It’s a closed group, so click HERE for access.
And remember…
The voice of shame tells you that because you’re flawed, you’re unacceptable. But the voice of grace says that even though you are flawed, you’re cherished.
Have you purchase your copy of Untangled yet? Click HERE!
