We’re in the throes of selling our home.
The house has been professionally staged.
The carpets cleaned.
The paint touched up.
The home sparkles from floor to ceiling.
Minor interior updates have been completed.
We’ve mulched the garden beds, pulled weeds, and trimmed the grass.
The basement has been purged and packed.
And you know what? Our house really cleans up nicely. It’s been years since it’s looked this good. Seeing it so spiffy has renewed my love and appreciation for our home of 15 years.
… but we can’t live this way for long.
Truth is, when we’re not in home-sale mode, we’ve made peace living with a certain amount of dirt.
Oh I see the dust bunnies, but I think they add character. Yes, we have grime on some shelves, but it’s more fun to write words in it than wipe it clean. I’ve seen the collection of crumbs by the kitchen baseboards, but feel certain the dust bunnies need something to nibble on.
We have our favorite spots to pile clothes rather than hang them, and often pick them up from the floor and wear them again. Don’t judge… you do it, too.
There’s always toothpaste splatter on the bathroom mirror. And why make beds when you’ll be in them again in 12 hours? Am I preaching?
So keeping our home spotless and show-ready is hard work. Maybe just for the Scott family.
But somehow, we have to find a way to survive our busy and demanding (and slightly unhygienic) lives in a home that can’t appear like we even reside here at all.
Ummm…. right.
Our day-to-day looks different now. We can’t exist here in the usual, comfortable way.
The way we’re used to.
Instead, we have to present a cleaned-up version so our home will appeal to others.
I really do understand the methodology behind it. We’re attracted to shiny new things. We want to be WOW’ed. I get it. And it makes perfect sense when you’re buying or selling a home.
But so often, we get all cleaned up, hoping the world will approve of and accept us. We stage our lives to look better than it really is. We pluck the weeds, and try to clean up so others will be impressed.
You know what… we can’t live that way for long. It’s exhausting trying to be something we’re not.
And at some point, our messy will start to show again.
Our crazy will be uncovered.
Our neediness will slip out.
Our insecurities will spill over.
For years… many, many years… I’ve tried to purdy my own self up. And while I’ve made myself sparkle and shine at different times, my best efforts haven’t effectively swept away the dirt.
… the dirt that muddies my self-worth.
It’s the dirt that reminds me I’m unlovable because I’m not thin enough.
The dirt that says I’m not a good wife because I don’t cook dinner enough.
The dirt that whispers I’m an ineffective writer.
The dirt that says I’m too much or too little.
The dirt that tells me I’m not worth their time.
No, I don’t have the strength, patience, or know-how to decontaminate my self-esteem. But God can.
He has.
Only God can scrub away the insecurities that pollute us.
And you know what else?
God saw our value, knew the struggles we’d face, and asked His Son to pay the ultimate price on the cross so we’d be spotless in His eyes.
And we are.
We don’t have to look… or be… or act a certain way, hoping for approval. God made us on purpose.
It’s okay when we’re a bit messy. Sometimes life just blows.
When we struggle, it is okay to not have the answers. He does.
Girls, you don’t have to present a squeaky clean self to the world, because you’re not. No one is. And there is great freedom in just being … you.
Because no matter what you’ve done… regardless of the bad choices you’ve made… despite the guilt and shame you try to hide from…
You are good enough.
Just keepin’ it real ~
Carey
P.S. Leave a comment sharing what “not good enough” messages you need God to scrub away.
© 2014 Carey Scott
The lie of “not doing enough” seems to be pervasive in so many aspects of my life. Not playing enough with my kids, not exercising enough, not calling friends enough, not having good enough quiet times…. I could keep going!!! Thank you for the reminder that I am looking to the standards of this world that tell me what I should be doing – rather than asking the only one who’s opionion matters – Lord help me today to only do what you have prepaired for me. Nothing more – nothing less!
I know, Jeanelle. My list is long, too. But God is changing that!