The tangle that makes you wonder, “What’s wrong with me?”

I sent this text last weekend… “This is Carey Scott. When is our landscaping going in?”

My message was simple and to the point. But honestly, I wanted to type out a lot more words – and some rather colorful.

Ugh. I’m so done waiting on this guy to put in our yard. When we built our home last November, the basics of a lawn were included – trees, shrubs, grass, fence, sprinkler system, etc. And while we were the first of the fourteen homes on the block to be built and occupied, it looks like our yard will be the last in place.

And it makes me want to scream.

I’ve spoken with this guy several times, and it seems he tries hard to make me feel like I’m asking too much. He sounds “put-out” when I call, like my expectations of him are unrealistic. And I’m left feeling that he wants me to keep my mouth shut and just be happy he’s going to put our lawn in at all.

And because of our strained interactions, all sorts of insecurities have popped up. I’ve wondered…

~ Do I sound too naggy?

~ Are my expectations too high?

~ Am I unworthy of his time?

~ Are my requests too much?

~ Am I too much?

These questions tangle me. And they make me think, “What’s wrong with me?”

Oh, I hate when that message creeps into my heart, because I end up entertaining it for far too long. I analyze and chew on it, so often making it a much bigger deal than it really is. And it becomes my truth – my reality.

Can you think of situations or people that make you think something about you … just isn’t right?

The ones where you feel inferior… or like you’re too much or too little… or where you feel worthless?

Those feelings cover me in shame. And shame whispers, “You should feel bad about who you are.”

So I do.

Girls, shame isn’t from God. He doesn’t speak that language. His voice will never make us feel worthless. And so if you’re hearing that message… let it be a red flag.

It’s not God. It’s the Enemy.

Truth is, the Enemy’s whole plan is to make you feel insignificant and unimportant. And he will use other people to help that lie sink deep into your DNA. He will use crunchy situations to trigger those old wounds of worthlessness. And he will even make you doubt yourself through shame, and you’ll end up using your own words against you.

Can’t we just be done with this?

Isn’t it time we choose to believe we are who God says we are?

Friend, this is how God sees you:

~ You’re unique (Psalm 139-13-16)

~ You’re the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8)

~ You are worth knowing (Matthew 10:30)

~ You are accepted (1 Peter 2: 9-10)

~ What you need matters (Phil 4:19)

~ You belong (Ephesians 2:13)

~ In God’s eyes, you’re perfect (Genesis 1:27)

Every day, you have to decide to believe these truths. It’s not a “believe-it-once-and-it-lasts-forever” deal. It’s something you have to cling to when people and situations threaten to tighten your tangle of shame.

And my tangle of shame.

I’m learning our only hope is God. He wants us to anchor our identity in His truths of who we are — not the world’s opinion of us. And when we ask, He will give us the discernment to know the difference.

I realize my frustration with the landscaper is justified. God has revealed that I’m not the problem in this situation, even though I’ve battled to believe it lately.

And I’ve been knotted up in shame because of it, but God has been untangling me. My eyes have been opened. And from this point forward, I’m going to be quicker to silence those messages that tell me otherwise.

Friend, I want to encourage you to do the same.

You’re identity is based on who God says you are… not how the world defines you. Stupid world. And if not careful, shame will sneak in unnoticed and tangle you right up.

Let’s choose to believe we are who God says we are… no matter what.

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