Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats. (James 3:16 MSG)
So often, we look at her and want what she has.
Her husband is more attentive or makes more money.
Her kids are better behaved or higher achievers.
Her home is bigger… cleaner… better decorated… or in a nicer neighborhood.
Her body is firmer… thinner… tanner… or void of dimples and bumps.
Her faith is stronger… prayers are prettier… and she knows the Bible inside and out.
Her work is better… she volunteers more hours… she’s an amazing cook… and she is always gracious and joyful.
What have I missed?
Let’s be honest here. We’ve all thought this way before. It’s part of the human condition. It’s “normal”. Common. Rampant.
And it’s killing us.
Because it’s a tangle that won’t easily let go.
And once we’re knotted, it creates deep discontentment that’s hard to loosen.
… So we manipulate and control our husbands.
… We shame our kids with unrealistic expectations.
… We overextend, overspend and overdo to keep up.
… We obsess over wrong priorities, tossing aside our better judgement.
… We perform for approval and acceptance, hoping to be noticed.
In our pursuit to be better than her (or at least keep up), we make it all about ourselves — often at the expense of others.
Feelings get hurt. Relationships are strained. Hearts become tangled.
But friend… you aren’t supposed to be her.
You’re supposed to be you.
And truth is, you aren’t equipped to handle her blessings or her struggles. You’re equipped to handle your own.
She isn’t better. She’s just different. And her life isn’t perfect, even though it looks that way. It’s filled with joy and challenges — just like yours.
So just be you.
Because you are amazing.
And your family and friends need you.
Not her.
Great reminder today to BE WHO GOD HAS CALLED ME TO BE!!! Thank you for always encouraging that in me! We all have areas in our life that are desirable but like you said we also all have struggles/challenges. God knows exactly what area in our life needs to be challenged to cause us to grow, depend, and cling to Him. To envy the “ease” in another persons life in this area keeps us from embracing God’s design and plan for our life. Great things to chew on today. Thanks Carey.
It’s such a simple concept that we should be ourselves and not worry that we’re “less than” someone else, but it’s a daily struggle to remember that. Thanks for organizing these thoughts – it’s really applicable.
This was awesome! I have a Sister who is always so organized and it just seems like it is effortless!
Every time I go visit, I immediately feel horrible about the condition of my house. Nothing is dirty, it’s just disorganized!
While she is sitting in her nice clean and organized living room watching a movie, I’m home wondering how she got all the organizing genes!
Oh Beth… I totally get that! Our joy depends on us letting her be her… and us be us. That way, we can celebrate her and not feel inferior. 🙂