Well, as you can see by the date of my last post… it’s been a while. I should have been blogging through these past 5 months, but didn’t have the energy to do it.
You see, in January I was diagnosed with a rare ovarian cancer. Four pathologists saw it. Four. But 2 surgeries later and the doctors can not find it. God’s divine eraser or misdiagnosis?? I have my opinion.
My new normal came from those surgeries. I’m now in full surgical menopause and it is… overwhelming. Actually, I hate it.
I remember my doctor telling me that it would be much harsher than normal menopause since it would be abrupt and immediate. I… had… no… idea.
It irks me when people say… “At least you don’t have cancer.” While I agree with them wholeheartedly (and thank you Jesus), this new normal is the lesser of two evils.
So… where is God in this? I know He’s here… scripture tells us He will never leave us nor forsake us. That truth stands. But why me? Why this? Why now? I guess I have to be “ok” with not having these questions answered… as least not this side of heaven… or maybe never at all.
God is faithful. God is all-knowing. God is in complete control. And Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible, tells me so.
Sometimes at the end of the day… that’s all I’ve got.