I’m in the wilderness right now. It just hit me in my Bible study today that God leads us in directions we’d never decide to go on our own… and the author lists things about following His paths that we might encounter.
She says sometimes His paths are (and I had to check all that applied to me) (1) more challenging – YES, (2) more lonely – YES, (3) more tedious – YES, (4) more costly – YES, (5) more indirect – YES….. The “more lonely” really hit me today. Apparently, this is the road He is choosing for me right now.
These past few months have been hard on such a grand scale. My community has played such a huge part in holding me up to continue fighting.
But now I find myself in a quiet and lonely part of the wilderness. The wilderness is indeed a good and necessary place. And there are many Biblical examples of this.
1) Elijah fled to the wilderness
2) Abraham lived like God’s nomad there on his way to the Promised Land
3) Paul lived there for 3 years being reformed after his conversion
4) John the Baptist lived and preached in the wilderness
5) Moses spent 40 years there herding sheep
6) The Israelites also spent 40 years there… as we know
7) And even Jesus himself spent 40 days there before he began his public ministry.
But I am struggling so badly. Many, many questions. What does He want me to see? Am I in training for something huge on the other side? Am I here because of sin? Disobedience? Testing? Growth? I will trust and wait, but this…. is…. hard…. and…. lonely.
“But God.” Sometimes that small simple statement is all I have to cling to… and you know what… that’s enough.
Like it says in Job 42:5 “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.”
God… reveal yourself to me in such a big way so I see why you’ve brought me here…. and I will trust you in the waiting.