I said… no.
She approached me after the church service, asking if I’d share the story with her MOPS group of how God pulled my marriage from the pit.
That meant 60 women… would be staring at me… while I’m on stage… using a microphone… and sweat beads would be rolling… down my face.
Sweet mother of all things great and small.
What she couldn’t have known was just a few weeks earlier, God made it clear He wanted me to step into a speaking ministry. She didn’t know that my yes was 100% dependent on Him bringing speaking engagements to me. And there was no way she knew I was scared to death to stand on a stage.
So when she asked me to share… I said no.
And then I said yes.
And then I screamed at the top of my lungs without making a sound. I can’t believe You made this happen, God.
Well I prepped like my life depended on it. I most certainly didn’t want to look silly. So I bought a music stand for my notes and preached my little heart out to my cats. They didn’t make me nervous, but every time I envisioned people staring at me as I was speaking… I would freak out.
God, why do you want me to do this?
… Didn’t my past disqualify me?
… Hadn’t my bad choices made me ineligible for ministry?
… What about my current season of sinning and my all-too-often rebellious streak?
I don’t have a perfect track record in my life—not by a mile.
But God does.
So many of us see the lives we’ve lived—the lives we are living now—and decide we’re unsuitable for service. It’s that fear of insignificance that keeps us trapped and unable or unwilling to step out of our comfort zone.
We’d rather stay tucked away so no one will judge us.
I get it.
This is such a common response when we feel Jesus asking us to step up and step out for Him. But… if we’re going to be uncommon women—women who want to influence our corner of the world for Jesus—then that kind of response is no longer acceptable.
You know what helped me the very most? Prayer.
I began to pray more and more for God to give me the courage to do what He was asking.
I begged Him for confidence to override insecurity.
I asked the Holy Spirit for prompts and reminders of the words I needed to share and the boldness to speak them out.
And I prayed that I’d feel His presence with me on stage.
Well, I stood in front of those 60 and shared my story. I talked way too fast… sweat way too much… and went way too long. But God gave me everything I asked for in prayer.
His answers to my petitions were the only reason I could share my story with an audience.
Rather than pray for God to find someone else or release me from the call He had placed on my life, I asked God to “give me what I needed” to do what He was asking. And that shift is what took my prayers from common to uncommon.
It’s what gave me the guts and grit to say yes.
In that situation, I chose to be part of the process… not part of the problem. I wasn’t looking for a way out anymore. I was looking for help to be all in.
Friends… let’s be the kind of women willing to say yes to God, even when it feels risky.
Let’s be women who aren’t filled with fear for new things because we know God has our back.
Let’s choose to #beUncommon women who pray for help rather than for an escape route.
Yes… let’s be just like that.